Heart of Stone
by Amavi
Summary: Kratos x Anna – The story of their relationship, Lloyd, and the things which followed. Works logically with the game/manga/anime for the most part. Romance, humor, suspense... see Kratos transform from a cold angel of Cruxis into a man capable of 'love'.
1. Chapter 1

/*

Just wanted to say, thanks in advance for reading! The first chapter might be a bit slow, but if you can stick with me I think you will enjoy it =)

Disclaimer: I do not own tales in any way, shape, or form. And this story isn't perfect, I know this. I will probably come back and revise it someday, but I would really appreciate any input you have on the story. I like to hear what you think =)

*/

* * *

Chapter 1

As he prepared to descend unto Sylvarant, the dying world, Kratos Aurion spared a glance into his mirror. He couldn't help but sigh- changing the world was a daunting task even at this stage of progress, and it could be quite tiresome at times. When Mithos had said he wanted to fulfill his sister's final wish, Kratos certainly wasn't expecting it to take over four thousand years… and yet, he knew that the Desians were doing quite well in the tasks they had been given. He couldn't really muster up a complaint worth keeping. And if Sylvarant kept up with its chain of failures, perhaps the number of expheres needed would be less…

He looked into his reflection, scrutinizing his deep red hair and laughing at how little he had changed, these past millennia. It was the same face, the same haircut, the same goals, the same friends; he could hardly remember back to the time he stopped aging- a child, with not even three decades behind him. Had he ever been any different than this person he was now? He couldn't remember, and he had decided three thousand years ago that it didn't really matter. Kratos sighed again and left his quarters, starting down the winding corridors leading to a warp pad which would take him to the Tower of Salvation. It seemed a hassle to walk, but he was in no hurry.

He didn't particularly like inspecting the ranches, but he didn't particularly hate it either. He knew it was simple work, but it had to be done. And he had already fought over this with Yuan- he had made it clear that he wasn't going to budge on it. Somebody had to do the job, though- and it certainly wasn't going to be Mithos himself. They always dumped the mundane chores on the human, Kratos had figured long ago. Though he was long used to it by now, he sighed heavily as he approached the warp field.

Once on Sylvarant, Kratos unleashed his wings. It took less energy and time than the inferior practice of walking, and he wasn't going to stay down below with the humans and half-elves longer than was absolutely necessary. Not that he had any particular grievance with them, but he had always made a point of avoiding contact wherever possible- it was too much explaining and chitchat, not worth the irritation. He made sure to fly above the clouds, where he wouldn't be seen as easily- though it was always colder up there, it would reduce the stares and questions. He knew his own routine by heart- every hundred years or so he would have to do it again…

After a few hours, he began descending toward the Iselia ranch, where Forcystus was already waiting for him.

"Welcome, Lord Kratos. It has been a while since you last paid a visit. We have greatly improved productivity in the last century…"

With a curt nod, Kratos followed him inside. The whir of outdated magitechnology droned loudly, and were he merely human it might have given him a headache. After three hours of blathering about recent improvements and a thorough tour of the ranch, the inspection was complete, and he left. Kratos mulled over the production speed of expheres as he flew to the Palmacosta ranch for his next inspection. On the way, he started thinking to himself again, which he did quite often when he had nothing else to keep him company- he calculated that it would be another ten thousand years before the Desians had produced enough expheres, and then vaguely wondered if giving them better technology was really as dangerous as Mithos believed. He stopped himself in midair, appalled at that thought. Was this true annoyance? Impatience? After four thousand years, was it really possible to still feel those things? He tried to shake the unsettling feeling, but it was very persistent.

Soon enough he landed at the ranch, and two Desian minions escorted him inside. Magnius was noticeably less hospitable than Forcystus. He offered no pleasantries, no stalling conversations or smalltalk, and he really had nothing new to report. He gave himself a complete tour- nothing had changed since the last inspection, not even the personnel that he could tell- and took off once more.

Kratos touched down outside of the Asgaard ranch as the sun was setting, but as his shadow lengthened and the bright colors in the sky started to bleed away, he walked inside unaffected as always. He tried to remember what it was that made humans attracted to sunsets- they came with such regularity and in such consistent colors that there was practically nothing interesting about them- they were to be expected, and nothing more. He discarded his thoughts when Kvar met with him in the entrance hall, slit-eyed as always.

"Lord Kratos, I am glad to see you are well. Allow me to show you the ranch, once more…"

"Actually, I have had a full day of inspections so far; I would prefer to leave that for tomorrow. I assume you have no objections?"

"Of course that will be fine. I will have a room prepared for your stay."

Kratos nodded, and stood to the side as Kvar spoke to one of his underlings in a hushed tone. He must not have realized that the angel of Cruxis could hear every word.

"Move A012 to a holding cell for tonight. We need the guest room for Lord Kratos. Be sure she's gone in the next five minutes, or I'll be very… angry."

The Desian straightened up and began shivering slightly at the look he must have received from his superior, and Kratos was glad Kvar's back was to him. Not that he would have been intimidated by this man, but the guy was ugly enough without a grimace on his face. He turned back around smiling horribly at Kratos, who felt disgusted but didn't let it show on his face.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. I've sent for one of my staff to escort you to your room, and accommodate you this evening."

Kratos had to resist the urge to laugh at this ridiculous man, and his two-faced nature. He could use such civilized words, while thinking and acting with such violence that it would make just about any other person die of shame. His half-elven blood had lasted him nearly eight hundred years, and he was still going strong- Kratos had always felt that his need for control was the motive behind his great accomplishments as a Grand Cardinal. He had no misgivings about raiding entire villages, and reveled in the thrill of conquering outlying human settlements. Even those towns which tried to surrender to the Desians were not spared by this man- he took pleasure in slaughtering the weak, as if he were exterminating an ant hill when he took out a living breathing community. Kratos didn't like thinking about the Desians when he didn't have to, it only made the price of world peace more difficult to pay.

But he had to admit that the Desian leaders were all very suited to their jobs. With great cunning such as the Grand Cardinals possessed came greed, and Kratos felt that he could no longer understand these traits, nor act in place of feeling them. He knew that in Kvar's place, he would not be half as effective, and was glad that someone else could hold the difficult implementation work. The Desian escort arrived, and started leading him down one corridor, up a flight of stairs, and down another long hallway. Kratos was still curious about what "A012" might be, but decided not to let on that he had overheard- he would use the knowledge once he could work it out to his advantage, most likely during the tour which he planned to take in the morning.

Klaxons suddenly started sounding an alert, and red lights flashed along the corridor. The Desian stopped abruptly to look around, and started mumbling into his earpiece. Kratos mentally cringed at the volume, as it was quite painful to his sensitive hearing, and shiftily looked for a switch to make it stop.

"What is the meaning of this?" He yelled, unable to hear himself.

"A human must be trying to escape, sir."

Kratos grunted loudly, out of annoyance. He stalked past the Desian, who snapped out of his daze and trailed stupidly behind.

"Where's the control room?" Kratos shouted over his shoulder.

"To the left, sir. Why are you going there?" The soldier tried to be as polite as he could despite his raised voice. Kratos also detected a hint of panic that he couldn't quite place. Why would these guys set off a klaxon for a human, when they deemed them so inferior? So worthless? It hardly made sense… and for Kvar to have such a policy which caused disarray over such a menial situation was not like the man at all.

As he rounded the corner, Kratos felt something run into him, and heard it collapse on the floor. He looked down, and saw what looked like a pile of rags, until a wild pair of eyes stared up at him. Then he noticed it was a woman, wearing rags. He was vaguely aware that she had long brown hair, and very pale skin, but for some reason he couldn't look away from her eyes- they were a glistening brown, intense and desperate, fearful but strong- his mind was empty in the second which they spent staring at each other. Then, she looked away and he came to his senses. The klaxons were still wailing, and the reddish hue from the alarm lights made her look even more out of place. Kratos could tell immediately that this was the escaped human, but he couldn't be sure exactly why she had caused such a fuss. He noted the unusual hue of an exphere attached to her hand, but in a matter of seconds she had collected herself and was back on her feet, sprinting down the hall.

Kratos stared at her as she went, barefoot with the loose cloth she wore blowing behind her. He fought back a smile, seeing her strength. It ought to put Kvar in a frightening irritation, to see his elven-blooded minions inadequate in restraining one human female. This feeling of smugness lasted only an instant, however, because Kratos realized that she was defying world peace. In standing up to the Desians, she was running away from her responsibility to the rest of her world. Both worlds, actually. Tehe'alla was depending on expheres for its salvation as well. Kratos realized that perhaps he disliked Kvar more than he wanted world peace, and would have chuckled to himself, were he not still suffering from the auditory abuse of the klaxons.

"Just take me to my room." He said to the Desian.

"Yes, sir."


	2. Chapter 2

/* Disclaimer: I do not own Tales characters, I just like to pretend I know the stuff they never elaborated in the game (Tales of Symphonia). Yes, I am having fun making up this stuff xD

And i'd like to apologize if the first few chapters are kind of boring... Kratos has to warm up to his humanity, you know? He was kind of zoning out for 3,000 years or so... possibly more... bear with me. =)*/

* * *

Chapter 2

Kratos followed his escort down one more corridor before they stopped in front of his door.

"Here we are, Lord Kratos." He turned to leave.

Abruptly, the siren stopped halfway through its whine. Kratos could hear it still ringing in his ears, and resisted the urge to massage his temples. It could wait until he was alone. He couldn't help but wonder though, if the woman had escaped or if they had simply given up. He doubted that the clumsy security would have been able to restrain her, and he certainly wasn't going to help them unless it was in his interest to do so. One person would not overtly delay the coming of world peace. If she wanted to leave so badly, she might as well be allowed to escape. At least, that was how Kratos felt on the matter. He wondered how Kvar would handle the situation, how he would explain it away in the morning.

Kratos called out to the Desian who had almost made it out of sight, and asked if the woman had escaped, figuring the headsets would have given more information than the klaxons could have done.

"No, sir. We have her in custody, under tight security now. She will be appropriately punished, of course, not to worry sir."

Kratos nodded, and went into his assigned room. For some reason he felt a pang of anger as he locked the door behind him. He couldn't discern why after a thousand years of nothingness he suddenly felt emotion, but it was somewhat enjoyable to him. He savored the anger for that brief moment, before it retreated into the void from which it had come. As he sat on the bed he couldn't figure out what had happened to bring on that strange sensation. He shrugged, and stretched out on the mattress, hands cupped under his head, staring at the ceiling. It was dark outside now, and the window was letting in a breeze of cold air. Kratos never moved to close the window, nor did he seem bothered by the draft- he didn't request dinner, and he hardly even slept. These last actions were things he did when he was bored, and at no other time; Kratos was equipped with a Cruxis crystal, and did not require as much sleep or nourishment as a normal human being. He felt heat and cold, but learned to feel indifferent to them after all the years he had endured them. Food held no appeal to him, and sleep even less. He could feel tired and hungry, but he rarely acted on these needs as he felt them, because the simple sensation of need was more interesting to him than satisfaction. Feeling uncomfortable was the only way he could remember what it was to feel alive. He wondered if Mithos or Yuan felt that way as well, but it was not something he would be obligated to bring up, and so he dismissed the thought.

Morning came much more quickly than he had expected. Kratos supposed he had his recent encounter with the escapee to thank, because most of his thoughts had dwelled on that event during the nighttime hours. He was glad he had decided to stay the night, instead of continuing on. Only so much boredom could be tolerated in one day, he decided, and the excitement in the Desian compound had been enlightening. He left his quarters as dawn broke, and wandered the corridors giving himself a better idea of where his room was oriented. After he had had enough of wandering, Kratos went outside and stood beneath a tree on the edge of the forest. He wondered when the ranch would liven up, but he was content to wait. It was unusual, he had to admit, to be this indifferent to delay given how much he had held this task in disdain even just one day ago. He credited the escapee once more, because he was looking forward to seeing Kvar at a loss for words. He started planning out a verbal attack for the half-elf to amuse himself in the time he was forced to wait, and to his surprise he was quite enjoying himself. It had been a very, very long time since he could remember taking as much enjoyment in something.

Eventually a Desian underling approached Kratos, and told him that the tour could commence at any time. Kratos grunted in response, and started walking back towards the ranch, with the soldier struggling to keep up. He didn't mind the wait, but he wasn't looking to wait any longer than he needed to. He wanted to hear the old man's excuses, grill him for details, and finish his duties on Sylvarant, the dying world. That was all. So when he stepped into the building, it was with the intention that he wouldn't come near it again for another century at least.

"Lord Kratos."

"Kvar."

"Would you like to make your inspection now?"

"That _is_ why I am here. But first, I would like to ask why an alert went off yesterday."

"Ah, yes. Well, let me explain…"

Kratos allowed himself to be taken into another room, just off the main entrance, and waited patiently for Kvar to explain. When the man tried to explain it away as a security drill, Kratos didn't buy a word. He waited for him to finish blathering on, and paused for several seconds to watch if Kvar would start to panic. When he didn't, Kratos continued anyway, probing for the truth, and hinting that he didn't believe the story he had been fed. His adversary caught on quite rapidly, and realized there was no way to salvage his lie. With much hemming and hawing, he revealed that a human had indeed escaped, but that it was a controlled test, and that there was no real danger of losing the captive. Kratos wasn't convinced, but it was closer to the truth than the previous story.

"What if I told you that I saw the escapee last night, running down the corridor unchecked?"

"I would say that perhaps you saw the project seconds before it was ambushed."

"I see. Are there any other projects that I should know about?"

"No, I don't believe so."

"Hmph. What about the A012 you mentioned yesterday? Don't think you can keep things from me, Kvar."

"Ah, so you heard. That spoils the surprise then, I suppose." The ugly man gave a hopeful look, probing to see if his cover had worked on this member of the four seraphim. He couldn't read the impassive face, and continued winging an explanation. When he saw that nothing would work, he sighed heavily and started once more at the beginning.

"Well, Kratos, A012 is a new experiment I have been running, in an attempt to improve the design of the Cruxis crystal. If I am successful, it will be the most powerful crystal ever made."

"I see. And what would you do with such a powerful crystal?" Kratos looked at Kvar's squinted eyes, and couldn't find his pupils. It would be harder to tell if he was lying, this way.

"I call it the Angelus Project, Kratos. I was planning to present my research to Lord Yggdrasil as soon as I had results to show for it."

"So A012 is a test subject, then. I would like to see evidence of this experiment, and I will report it to Lord Yggdrasil for you."

"With all due respect, Kratos, I would much rather give the report myself…"

"He will not be pleased that you were doing research in secret, Kvar. By all means, tell him yourself, but I won't be responsible for what happens afterward."

The half-elf mulled over these conflicting desires for half a minute, weighing the pros and cons. Kratos was just glad to have discovered what the big secret was, and that he had uncovered it before it could be used against him. Now that he had been found out, Kvar would likely use the project as leverage to gain respect; Kratos didn't want to think about how it might have been used otherwise. Not that he wouldn't be able to handle a doddering old half-elf in battle, but the exertion would have been much more of a hassle…

Kvar escorted his superior personally through the ranch, trying to dress up his own accomplishments, though Kratos was able to see through his act now. He wasn't much impressed with anything, and did not plan to report this ranch any more favorably than the ranch operated by Magnius, until he came to the last part of the tour that is. Kvar took him to see A012 in person, so that he could be assured of the truth in the Angelus Project, and so that he would have something to tell Mithos. They went into the detention center, and walked up to the first cell on the right. Kratos was surprised to find that he recognized the host body- it was the woman from before, the one who had bumped into him, and attempted to escape. She was sleeping, curled in a corner like an animal. It wasn't hard to see why the Desians treated humans as dogs, when they played their roles so convincingly, he thought to himself.

It made sense to him now though, that she would have been the one chosen for the Angelus project. She had been so wild, and so determined- these traits would carry over into the power of the exphere. Kvar must have chosen her specifically, which all things considered, would be a great honor if she were being selected for anything other than a slow and painful death. Kratos almost pitied her, but he knew that she was committed now that there was a crystal forming on her hand, and thought no more of it. It made sense now that she had been the one to escape, because he recalled Kvar talking about relocating A012, and if she had been the one they were moving she would have had a chance to escape while the security was lower. He felt his questions were answered now, and turned away, prepared to leave.

"Wait, wait. Don't leave yet. Don't leave." The woman in the cell was hissing at him, and it was unnerving.

Kratos turned his head to look at the speaker on a reflex, though he knew she would not say anything worth listening to. He met her gaze, as she pressed herself against the bars, struggling to get a better look at her captors. Those brown eyes of hers still shone with determination, and she gave off an aura of fear mixed with hope. Kratos couldn't help but feel interested in what she thought she could detain him with.

"You're not like them, are you? You have human ears. You have to understand, you have to look around you, look at what you are doing. Do you not see what is becoming of us? Do you not care? Just look-" Kvar stabbed at her through the bars of the cell with the butt end of his battle staff, and she made a short cry of pain before he heard her head impact with the floor. Kratos looked away, not wanting to see what had become of her. He knew she would not be dead, she was far too valuable for that, but- he closed his eyes and shuddered internally at the thought of her lying in a pool of blood.

"I apologize for her insolence, she is… perhaps stronger than it is in her best interest to be."

"I can see that." Kratos muttered under his breath.

As soon as he reached the front gate, he unleashed his wings and took to the sky once more, wanting more than anything to get away from that ranch. He flew toward his next assignment, and while dreading his encounter with Rodyle, he hoped that it would not be as disturbing as the inspection he had just escaped from. In all his millennia of serving Mithos, he had never come across something so wretched as that man, Kvar. He promised himself he would have a word with his old friend, and try to get Kvar a reprimand.

"Martel knows that brute deserves it!" he thought furiously. It was invigorating to be feeling with such intensity these past days, and Kratos thought deeply on Martel the person, whom he had just mentioned in the context of a goddess. It was finally starting to become apparent to him how much Mithos had changed him since he had been given eternal life.


	3. Chapter 3

/* Disclaimer: I do not own Tales, I just mess around with their amazing characters. And I enjoy filling in the blanks with my own ideas ;D

This chapter skips ahead about a month after the previous chapter. It is intentional, because I am telling the story mainly from Kratos' frame of mind. (there will be a few exceptions) But basically, he doesn't feel that time has passed at all, and if you asked him, he wouldn't remember what he had been doing for the month in between.

PS. If anybody was wondering, Kratos has finished his routine inspections of the Desian ranches and reported back to Mithos. */

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Chapter 3

"I have returned, Kvar, as per Yggdrasil's orders. I am to check up on the progress of your Angelus Project."

"Very well, then. This way." He gestured towards the door. "Can I assume you will be returning monthly until the gem is produced?"

"Of course."

"Then Lord Yggdrasil is very interested in my project, no doubt."

Kratos grunted in affirmation, and did not speak again until they had reached the cell. He was a bit surprised to learn that they had never moved the girl back to the room which she had originally been in, but he figured that they didn't have confidence in being able to transport her again. She had been rather feisty last time he had seen her.

This time, however, she was very quiet as their footsteps approached the cell. Kratos wondered if they had caught her while she was sleeping again. Once there, he peered into her cell, expecting her to leap up and rattle the bars or something. But to his astonishment, A012 was sitting on a bench furnished along the left wall, staring straight ahead. She never turned her head, but he wondered if she could even hear them.

"She is much different than last time, I'm noticing. What have been the changes since I left?"

"Oh, you are mistaken. Nothing much has changed except her attitude. We have shown her that disobedience is not tolerated in Desian establishments, and perhaps the crystal is absorbing her personality more rapidly as well. These effects combined have made her much more manageable, wouldn't you agree?"

Kratos didn't know what to say. He looked at her, and wondered how she could possibly be the same person. He was waiting for her to explode with rage, or make wild accusations, even to act crazy or try to grab at him through the bars. But she was still sitting idly, taking shallow breaths and staring vacantly at the wall opposite her.

"May I examine her more closely?"

Kvar looked incredulous, but could not say no to his superior. He gave Kratos a quick word of caution, and called an underling to open the door. Kratos was growing impatient as the Desian fiddled with the lock, but he didn't care why. It was enough to feel at all, and it was reasonable for him to be curious, he thought. The bars rose into the ceiling, and he walked briskly into the room. It was more like a closet, really, with metal walls and a toilet. Kratos didn't like the idea of forcing prisoners to live so indecently, but then he remembered why he had come.

Carefully, slowly, he reached out a gloved hand towards the jewel growing on her skin. It was a bright, vibrant blue, and it reminded him of her outburst the last time he had seen her. He was half expecting her to startle him with some attempt to resist, but still it was as if she were unable to see or hear him. He bent down to touch her hand, looking at the veins feeding the crystal. He then proceeded to squat lower, balancing on his toes, so that he could get a better look at her face, which was mostly obscured by her unkempt hair. He looked directly into her eyes, searching for the spark of life which had caught his attention before. He found deep cuts and healing bruises, but nothing else. It was gone. She continued to stare blankly ahead, while her eyes seemed to repel light. They couldn't glisten, or exude her wild nature, while she was a mental vegetable like this. Kratos had no idea what sort of discipline they practiced here, but it was disgusting how they had broken her. He felt incredibly angry, and did not know what he could do about the situation, only that he needed to find out exactly what had happened here.

"Are you satisfied?" Kvar interrupted rather smugly.

Kratos grunted, and stood quickly narrowly avoiding hitting his head on the ceiling. He left the cell and did not wait for Kvar to lock it, but kept moving at a brisk pace until he was outside the dungeon. He felt an intense disgust which was stronger than he had any memory of feeling before. It disturbed him how much this host body had been able to manipulate his emotions- to his knowledge nothing and nobody else had ever been so effective. He decided that after he was finished here, he would ask Yuan if he was losing his mind. It was a better plan than asking Mithos, certainly, but he still didn't feel comfortable talking over personal things with anyone- even the people he had lived with and worked with for practically four thousand years. Sometimes he would wonder if he had ever confided in his own family- not that they would be around anymore- but he wondered if there had ever been some exception to his rule of seeking answers alone-

"Is something bothering you, Lord Kratos?" The ugly Desian leader smiled, and Kratos began to hate him even more.

"Why is she still kept in a holding cell? Surely you have adequate personnel to restrain her if you were to move her back to a civilized room."

"Of course, certainly you don't mean to offend me? But she tried to escape once, and we would not be foolish enough to furnish her with another chance."

"Hmph. In that state? What do you fear from moving her, other than her dropping dead?"

Kvar said nothing, and Kratos realized he had probably hit fairly close to the mark. Her symptoms were ones that he recognized, although they were fairly rare. However, if they had been abusing her on the side, he wasn't sure if the affliction would have sped up. It would be a race against time to try and salvage her mind.

He realized what his thoughts were implying, and he tried to forget about it. But the more Kvar told him about their means of punishment, the more angry Kratos became. He couldn't stand to hear any more!

Very abruptly, he made his exit. Kvar watched the man go, smiling wickedly. He would have to report Kratos' behavior to Lord Yggdrasil, who would certainly be interested to hear that his suspicions were correct. Though the Angelus Project would bring him sufficient leverage over the other Grand Cardinals (he would never surrender such a precious item to anyone, superior or no) this leaking of information to the leader of Cruxis would certainly build the leader's trust in him. Kvar laughed for a brief moment, savoring the situation he was in- in any way he looked at it, he stood to gain power. And with that, there would be more ground he could cover, more humans he could capture, and as a result, there would be more expheres to collect. Kvar believed that the more expheres a man owns, the more people he has the ability to control- and that was his goal, to eventually control Sylvarant.


	4. Chapter 4

/* Disclaimer: Again, I do not own Tales of Symphonia in any way, shape or form. But I am a very loyal fan. _Very _loyal fan. haha

I would like to thank one of my best friends, for introducing me to the game a couple years ago. When she reads this she will know who she is ;D

And now, I would like to apologize about this chapter... it was meant to add a little substance to the story, since most of it is going to be romance I figure it's got to have some exposition in there somewhere. But, exposition can also be a little boring... I'm trying to find a good balance... here's what I have so far. */

* * *

Chapter 4

Kratos honestly couldn't remember the last time he had talked to Yuan about anything other than business. He felt awkward and wondered if seeing him would even be helpful. He knew that if he turned around now, he could walk back to his own quarters without drawing attention to himself. It odd for Kratos to feel insecure like this, and he was trying to cope with his own indecision when Yuan himself approached his door.

"Kratos, why are you standing outside my room?" the blue-haired man looked slightly annoyed.

"I wanted to speak with you. Would you rather I come back at some other time?"

"Is it important?"

"No, it's not. Sorry for disturbing you." Kratos felt quite embarrassed now, and definitely didn't want to talk to the guy. He had forgotten how much he and Yuan had disliked each other in the past. All he wanted now was to escape as tactfully as he possibly could…

"Why did you come then, if it's not important?" Yuan was intrigued now at the sight of Kratos' face. He could almost sense the mana rolling off him in waves- something was definitely unusual with the usually stoic swordsman.

"I…" he had to search quickly for words, anything- "I wanted to ask if you would go down to Sylvarant and make the checkups on the Angelus Project for me."

Yuan frowned.

"Why can't you do it? It's not like you can tell me you have other plans." He laughed casually, at his own joke.

"…" He took a deep breath. "I suppose not."

"Why are you so serious, Kratos?"

He looked away, feeling anger and embarrassment harassing him. He was sure it would show on his face, and he turned to leave, glad that his hair was long enough to cover most of his face.

"Hey, wait. We're still talking here."

"No, we're done. I'll just continue going down there myself."

Yuan wasn't about to let him off just like that. He'd known the guy for thousands of years, and he never acted wishy-washy like this. Ever.

"Did you do something down there, or what? Here, come inside."

"No, I'm leaving now Yuan. Sorry I asked."

Something was definitely strange about Kratos. He seemed much more emotional than Yuan could remember him ever being, for at least three thousand years. He couldn't help but be curious to know what had changed. He knew his stuffy old acquaintance, and he wouldn't have changed on his own. He must have encountered something, down there on Sylvarant…

"Suit yourself" he muttered, as he watched Kratos walk quickly away.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" Kratos muttered, quietly to himself. He nearly bowled over a Welgaian as he stalked to his quarters.

Once there, he placed his hand on the pad to the right of his door, and watched the paneling slide into the wall on his right. He walked inside, and slumped onto his desk chair, which was the only furnishing in his room aside from the desk itself. He had a bed in his bedroom, and a sparse bathroom, but other than that he did not have much furniture- he had no use for it. The only thing Kratos did collect was books. They were stacked neatly along the sparse walls of his apartment, not in any particular order, although Kratos had memorized where each book was and always returned them to the same spots. He had never counted how many books he owned, but it was enough for him to think of it as a small personal library. There were all kinds of texts arranged in his entry room, varying from technical manuals to autobiographies, and history books. In his bedroom, there were works of fiction, which he would often read when he was in his most bored states of mind. He knew that if Yuan or Mithos ever saw them, he would be denounced as crazy, but he hated spending his years idly wasting time- he much preferred to keep up with the development of the worlds they ruled over, and in the latter part of his life he had taken to fiction as well. Kratos couldn't remember if he had ever liked reading as a young human, but it was now one of his biggest hobbies, aside from swordsmanship.

He sighed heavily, and placed his feet on top of the desk, reclining the chair onto its hind wooden legs and cupping his hands behind his head. _What is the matter with me?_ He couldn't stop thinking, much as he might have liked to. _Why do I care what happens to one human? Expheres are for the benefit of the world, they will bring peace…_but Kratos couldn't finish that thought. Something about the sentence seemed almost laughable, though he couldn't place it. He tried to break everything down into the emotions he felt, and work his way back to the complexities in his mind. After several hours, he had only established two things: one, that he felt anger when he thought about the Angelus Project subject, and two, that he felt uncomfortable at the idea of going back there to check up on her. With so little information, he felt that he could not draw any conclusions from his own behavior. He felt more alive than he had in a very long time, but he was still unable to see why. Try as he did to find answers, all he could come up with were more questions.

He felt rather drained at the end of the day, and tried to go to sleep that night out of a desire to shut down his mind. When he woke up, it was late, and he found that he had slept for more than ten hours. Not that the sun had bothered him awake, though- on Derris-Kharlan, there were no days or seasons. The vast purple rock stretched in all directions, if he ever cared to look out the window. He very rarely did. There was something unsettling about living in space at first, and he began to feel it again this morning; it was a sense that he was out of place, and a feeling of uncertainty at being removed from solid gravel and foliage. Kratos had never been one for thinking descriptively, but he knew when he felt strange and he knew boredom for all the other times in between. He made a mental note of it to himself- this existence he had been enduring now seemed so trivial, and bare. He had spent the majority of his life bored out of his mind… it seemed so pathetic when he thought of himself, removed from everyday life.

Kratos called in for breakfast, and tried to think over his options. He had nothing to do for the next couple weeks until his next scheduled visit to Kvar's ranch, and he felt like he needed to make some sort of plan. He felt restless, and ruled out studying his new manual on summoning from Sybak's research academy. He felt uncomfortable on Derris-Kharlan, and wanted to stay away from Yuan while he still felt these strange ways; not to mention he was dreading another encounter with Mithos. That left very few options available to him. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more Kratos saw that his best course of action would be to return to Sylvarant, and live down there for a few weeks.

A winged deliveryman knocked at the door, and he thanked him for the delivery. The errand-runner looked slightly shocked, almost fearful, and nodded quickly before gliding away. Kratos wondered what was so appalling, and wandered into his bathroom to have a glance in the mirror. He chuckled, figuring that the man had been shocked to see his bed-head hairdo… though when he looked in the mirror, it didn't seem particularly messy. He shrugged and sat down to eat his breakfast- ham and eggs. It was Mithos' favorite food, always had been, and probably always would be. Kratos wondered why he had put up with eating the same thing almost every day of his life… either ham and eggs, or a ham and egg sandwich, or ham and egg omelets… it got rather tiresome, now that he thought about it. Not that he really felt the need to eat breakfast very often, much less taste what he was eating. Usually he would just order food once a day, and never really pay attention to what he was eating. This time though as he sat down with his tray for a morning meal, it seemed to taste particularly bland. He could barely stomach it, and considered sending a complaint to the chef.

"He probably wouldn't even know what a complaint was," Kratos mumbled to nobody in particular.

That was the thing about living on Derris-Kharlan. Nobody could think for themselves, so nobody ever tried to be considerate for others. It was a wonder work got done at all, although Kratos supposed that the highly suggestible nature of lifeless beings was the only reason they carried out their master's bidding. With no life, they had no substance, and no soul. It was true they would never argue, but…

Kratos realized he was thinking ill of world peace again, and tried to see where his reasoning had gone wrong. But he was rather surprised to realize that Welgaians wouldn't know the difference between a good meal and a piece of cardboard, and also that even if they could tell, they would never voice their dissatisfaction. That was how they were able to get along, of course; their indifference to each other, and their own lack of preference created a society in which there was no question of satisfaction at all. Everyone had what they needed to survive, and lived mechanically from thereon. Kratos felt a twinge of pity for the Welgaians living outside his door and in the community around him, but then he realized they wouldn't understand pity anyway. He couldn't correct his thinking- it was logical from end to end. He didn't understand why the discrepancy made him so uncomfortable, but he finished his breakfast hastily and drove the winged citypeople from his mind as he prepared to leave on a little vacation.


	5. Chapter 5

/*Disclaimer: I do not own Tales. blah blah blah

I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted some action! So did Kratos! ahha. So, here we go. ;D */

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Chapter 5

Kratos had always been known for packing light, but this time he was gliding around Sylvarant carrying nothing but his sword, and a sack of change. He wondered what had possessed him to be so cautious, but he had tried to leave as few clues behind as possible as to his whereabouts, and didn't want to risk having to explain his little excursion should he be sighted with supplies on his way out of Welgaia. He knew Mithos and Yuan wouldn't understand, and he didn't want to draw attention to himself while he was having these strangely emotional days. They would become suspicious of him, and he wouldn't have anything reasonable to tell them. All that had happened was a simple encounter with a host body, and now he was… he tried to think of a good way to put it.

"I'm getting soft now, aren't I?" he muttered.

It was hard to believe. Why did he feel so much less in favor of world peace than he had before? The price of human lives hadn't seemed so high before, and he couldn't understand what had changed to make him self-conscious. Given that Derris-Kharlan had never felt like a home to him, he still couldn't fathom why it had suddenly become so necessary to get out of there. But now that he was out, he felt so… free. He flew a little lower to look for a place to land, thinking he would do well to rest a while. His wings used his mana supply very gradually, but it wouldn't hurt to rest a bit and restore himself a little before he went on. Kratos didn't have any plans in mind, but he wanted to keep his options open for the following weeks. He descended slowly into a forest clearing, retracting his wings just before he touched down, so that he would feel the impact as his feet hit solid earth.

Something about these worlds had always felt nostalgic; he had assumed that it was because he had been born on one, but the fact that it had stuck with him for so long was truly astounding. He wondered if Yuan or Mithos had ever felt tied to the greens and browns of earth, or the pale blue of skies and water. The thought was almost laughable, Mithos holding dirt in his hand or Yuan taking a swim… he laughed out loud, and the sound surprised him. He couldn't even remember the last time he had laughed, or been truly amused by something. As he sat down under a large shade tree on the outskirt of the clearing, he wondered why his memory was so bad all of a sudden, and why he kept wondering about things so much lately. Something was so clearly different about him, and he couldn't understand it at all. The more he tried, the more confused he became. It was exhilarating, to feel all these things at once. Though, he felt very uneasy and out of place, especially when he tried to reconcile his new moods with the person he had been before. He had become something entirely different from an angel of Cruxis now… but he couldn't understand at all.

Kratos woke up, still leaning against the tree. The moon was large, and it glowed brightly against the tips of his pale fingers. He sighed, and looked up at the stars. He hadn't realized how much he missed them. In early days after his transformation, there had been a time when he had stretched out every night for half a century, just counting them. Just trying to number them, and memorize their patterns was enough to occupy his time in the beginning. He considered taking up that project again, but then looked down at the rest of the forest, suddenly remembering why he was there.

Kratos was surprised that he had fallen asleep, and even more surprised that it was already dark. The clearing was nice enough to spend the night in, but he still had no idea where he was. It was ironic, he thought, that he could be four thousand years old and still feel lost in a forest. Wishing he had been paying more attention when he landed, he started to debate whether or not he should look for an inn, or stay until morning. Why he had come at all, he couldn't justify properly to himself; since he had no business here it made no sense that he had acted on an impulse like that. He knew he was even repeating thoughts to himself, but because this rapidity of questions was overwhelming he felt unable to answer any of them. He decided to build a campfire first, and decide on a plan of action in the morning when he would be able to better learn where he was. It was true that flying around he might eventually discover lights, a city, and a town with a name which could accomplish the same thing- he wouldn't need sleep again for quite a while- but he found something appealing in the mystery of his location, and decided to prolong his stay.

Kratos began walking into the least dense part of the forest where he would be guided by moonlight, hoping to discover dry twigs and grasses to start a fire with. Again, it felt almost alien to him to be doing such a trivial task, but for some reason it was also quite enjoyable. He made several trips, all on foot, exercising his thick muscles and concentrating on the movement of his ligaments and joints. He felt strange thinking of himself as a human, after all this time as an angel of Cruxis. The two realities were completely different- the dignity associated with his title had made him into an eternal figure, set in stone and chiseled with iron, and here he was as an insignificant man doing menial labor, taking pleasure in his efforts. It was certainly food for thought, and he sighed heavily without realizing he had done so.

After he had a nice pile of thick logs and twigs, he went out for one last trip to see if he could find a flint stone. The moon was bright enough that he was sure he would see the reflective sparkle of that stone, should he happen to pass one. Of course he knew it would be much simpler to use his magic to start the fire, but he was in a mood to do everything the hard way this night. He was searching for a long period of time, carefully walking in a straight path so that he would be able to find his way back, and eventually came to the edge of the forest. He sighed, preparing to head back, when something pale caught his eye. He realized upon a second glance it was a building; it surprised him and he walked immediately out of the forest, moving closer in order to discover what it was. He was within five hundred yards of it before he finally recognized the construction- he had flown into the forest surrounding the Asgard human ranch. _The one that holds A012._ He cringed mentally, thinking of her vacant stare, and remembering her boldness at their encounter prior to that. He tried to remember what she had been yelling at him that one time, but all he could recall was that she had called him different from the Desians… he shook his head. What were the odds that he had flown here as opposed to anywhere else? _Why here?_

The last time he had come, the Angelus Project's host body had been kept in a jail cell; Kratos wondered if the Desians had heeded his suggestions. Had they been suggestions? He couldn't remember. The one thing that had impacted him from that day was her condition; it made no sense, but it was undeniably fact. He had been trying to avoid thoughts about the recent visit, but found that he could no longer hold them back. Those vacant eyes haunted Kratos, and he didn't like it at all. He had seen it before, and he knew what would cure her- the Desians would never figure it out, or care in the slightest what her condition might be. Nobody would be investigating it, so long as it didn't interfere with the crystal's ability to slowly absorb her life. Kratos found that he didn't like these thoughts at all. Though he couldn't fathom why, he suddenly had an urge to check if she had been moved back to the room he had stayed in the prior month.

_It's been a day of impulses already, hasn't it?_ He released his sparkling wings against the night, and allowed the wind to push him forward, toes dragging in the grass. It felt so wonderful to have such control, and yet, it was strange to realize that he had had it all along. His abilities had not changed in a very, very long time. He chortled to himself as he lifted his body effortlessly into the sky. He peered into the windows of the second floor, hoping that all of the occupants would be long asleep by now- he was in no mood to explain himself at the present. He almost felt like laughing again… what would the humans think if they saw a man with wings glide past their window? But he quickly became somber again when he remembered why he was doing this, and he stopped suddenly, realizing he had gone the entire way around. He decided to circle one more time, in case he had missed the small room- he hadn't truly been paying attention the whole time anyway. On the opposite side of the building, he stopped suddenly, and approached a grimy window. It was wide open, and he stuck his head inside.

Then he saw her, standing in a corner by the bed. He felt a chill as his eyes adjusted to the dark; it was brighter outside where the moon was glowing, yet this room was facing away from its light. Like a cave, it was about ten degrees colder in the room than the outside air- or maybe it was just the intimidating nature of this encounter: she, seeming to stare directly through Kratos, and he staring back, unsure of what to do.


	6. Chapter 6

/* Disclaimer: I do not own Tales. I did not invent these amazing characters. But, I do love them as though they were my children!! Does that count for anything? haha…

Please don't kill me if I have my world map wrong… I'll check it later but I just wanted to keep writing the story… ^^;

PS. Does anybody notice Kratos' biggest change? As he regains his humanity, he feels more inclined to satiate his needs, and he feels them more strongly… ie. hunger, sleep, etc. Sorry if I make everything too predictable… I'll try to fix that in the next couple chapters ;D */

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Chapter 6

"So I found her, now what?" Kratos whispered, in a daze. Then he mentally chided himself; why did he keep talking to himself lately? He vaguely wondered if this was what senility felt like. But then he was drawn back to the present by her unwavering stare. She wasn't even blinking.

Without thinking, Kratos lifted one of his legs in through the open window. It was amusing, to say the least, and he decided to just go through with the job. He made sure to keep his wings out until he was safely inside- no need to go and wake up the rest of the base should he go crashing down the side of the building. Once that was over with, he looked over at the girl. Or young woman, rather; she seemed to be in her early twenties or late teens. Clearly not a child, but not yet… ah, who was Kratos to judge? He sighed, and approached her carefully.

He inched closer, cautiously, knowing full well that people in this state were not in control of themselves. He approached, knowing that she might be dangerous. And, he walked right up to her, so that he was an arm's length away, knowing that it full well was not a good idea. Kratos wasn't one to make hasty decisions- he had been around for far too long to let the life lesson go unremembered- but he couldn't help himself. She was calling to him, it seemed, and he couldn't look away. He studied her rounded face, her bushy eyebrows, and her full lips. There was a rather nasty purple splotch near her left eye, but it seemed to be receding around the edges, as they were yellowish and less bright. She had cuts too, but they were scabbed over and seemed to be healing appropriately. He was glad that she seemed to be healthy enough- though it was probably helpful that in her condition, had he diagnosed it correctly, she would not be requiring food. No matter the malnutrition she had probably suffered, she would not have felt the effects once she had proceeded past the first stage of the disease. Kratos was fairly certain that the subject had Angel Toxicosis, a condition which the Chosen of Mana would traditionally subject themselves to prior to dying. It could be easily remedied of course, in theory, if one knew where to go. He felt as if something had dropped into the pit of his stomach and started sizzling. Was this guilt? He couldn't remember what that even felt like.

_Why do I want to help her? Is it because she's human, and I am also human?_

He was abruptly brought back to reality when he heard something creak behind him. He turned instantly on a reflex, his back to the host body. He scanned the room in a split second, looking for something which could have caused the sound, and found nothing- but he was hit from behind with staggering force, as a hand punched his shoulder and sent him to the floor. It was so painful that he had to lay there for a moment, gathering himself. He sat up slowly, being very careful to not accidentally touch the young woman with his feet. He wasn't sure what had set her off, but assumed it must have been his sudden movement. Humans in this state were very unpredictable and typically volatile, so he knew he was lucky to have escaped with such a minor attack (though he did wish he had been more prudent). Kratos stood quietly, with the utmost caution, and made a slow bow before backing up towards the window. He had had enough for one night, and he still had no idea what had inspired him to come this far. Before the guards could decide to check in on the racket he had made, Kratos slipped through the open window and onto the roof, fully glad to be checking out. He rubbed his shoulder on the way back to the clearing, squinting in the brightness of moon and circling the building for half a revolution, looking for the forest and his point of re-entry. On second thought, he had no desire to get lost in the woods- he was tired of feeling lost now- so he flew directly towards the clearing illuminated by light, eager to build his campfire.

…

The moment his feet had firm ground beneath them, he retracted his wings and tried to control his breathing. For some reason, it felt as though he were being compressed, and he didn't like it. He felt cold, and made a pile for the logs much more hastily than he had originally planned. It was not entirely sturdy or elaborate, but he lit it anyway, chanting "Fireball" as quiety but firmly as he could. He didn't want the spell to fail, but he was short of breath and he didn't want to alert the ranch guards either. He hadn't planned on camping so close to anyone who would recognize him in the first place. It was bothersome to say the least, but it would do until morning. Then, he knew he would have to get away quickly; he couldn't risk being seen. Kratos stared into the flames, watching them grow and consume each other, and that thought kept repeating in his head: _I can't be seen, I can't be seen; I can't be seen_.

Morning came sooner than he had expected. The moon had gradually slid away and bright colors started spreading across the eastern skies. The wind picked up, and the fire which had been small to begin with was snuffed with one swift gust. Kratos stood; it was time to go. He tried to picture the world of Sylvarant in his head, and decided to head to Luin- it was the town closest to here, and he was hungry again. He didn't have any plans beyond that when he took to the skies, heading towards the rising sun.

He arrived in the middle of the day, careful to land at the edge of a forest to the west of the city, away from the sight of the villagers. He had been spotted before, just once, and he never wanted to have to go through it again. People fawning over him, or fearing him, depending on the person- it was interesting the range of reactions he had received. Most agreed he was an angel, but wouldn't even let him speak, making their own assumptions and trying to-

"Excuse me, young man." A middle-aged lumberjack approached him from behind. Kratos turned warily, wondering what sort of reaction he would receive this time…

"Could you tell me which direction to Luin? I seem to have gotten a little turned around…" the man was squinting, and Kratos wondered how he could have made it this far if he couldn't see. He was glad that the man probably wouldn't notice the unusual material of his outfit.

"I can take you there. I'm heading that way myself."

"Ah, excellent. Thank you, young man." He smiled, and Kratos noticed he was missing several teeth.

The walk there was not long, but it was fairly awkward. Not that this was a problem for Kratos, however; he preferred silence to anything else. The two men didn't have much in common, though in the beginning the elderly man did try to make simple conversation.

"I see you have a large sword there, are you a hunter by any chance?" He asked, meaning well.

"No."

"Hmm… not a hunter, eh?"

"Decidedly not."

"I see…"

Kratos had to restrain himself from saying "No, you don't." He laughed to himself, as quietly as he could- at least he hadn't completely lost his sense of humor.

He was tempted to ask the man why he had gone outside without being able to see properly, but he much preferred the silence. And he definitely didn't want the old man to start a long-winded explanation.

"We're here. Is there any particular place you would like to find?" Kratos made a stab at being polite. It felt a little strange, but he didn't want to seem suspicious.

"Actually, I'm on my way home. Would you care to join me for lunch?"

"Sorry, I'd actually better get going."

"I see. Well then, thank you for walking with me."

Kratos nodded curtly, and left the old man to his own devices. _There are other people who will help him better than I could._ It was not his duty to be the eyes for every old crackpot in the world, after all. He was an angel of Cruxis, for Martel's sake. He was one of the four seraphim. The fact that he had stopped to help a doddering old stranger was a miracle in and of itself. He proceeded to walk toward the inn, as his stomach growled menacingly.

"It's been ages…" he mumbled.

_I did it again. Talking to myself…_

Kratos stopped for a moment in the middle of the path, and made a vow to himself that he would figure out what was wrong with his mind. After breakfast, of course. He continued walking, glad nobody else had seen him muttering to himself, and opened the door to the inn. The woman at the counter stared at him as he walked in, and he cursed himself for not buying a change of clothes first. However, he did not let this faze him, and he proceeded to the counter.

"I would like to order lunch, please."

She was still staring blankly, and he was reminded of A012. He closed his eyes, trying to remove her from his mind, but he only saw her face more vividly as if she were pasted to the back of his eyelids. He opened them again, trying to escape the thoughts, and was relieved to see the woman was trying to fix her hair instead.

"I would like to order lunch. I'll pay whatever fee you require of me."

The woman smiled dumbly and told him to wait while she asked the chef for a menu. He found this procedure to be a bit illogical, but he was very famished after his flight and he was looking forward to a breakfast without eggs. In fact, the thought was very exciting to him- he envisioned having toast with jam, and perhaps a- then he realized he was ordering lunch and sighed heavily, crestfallen. If the food was good, he promised himself he would stay here for the night and order breakfast.

Kratos quickly became irritated when the woman did not return. Each minute felt like an hour, and he was still quite hungry. He walked back to the counter, and leaned over it as far as he could, hoping to catch her eye through the door to the kitchen.

"Hello?"

He hoped they had heard him, and returned to the opposite wall, leaning his back against it and closing his eyes, willing himself to relax. It was not like him to feel impatient, although even being on Sylvarant was unlike him, so he couldn't truly make a conjecture…

"Hey there, sorry for the wait. Chef says we stopped serving lunch at four o'clock."

"Well then, may I order dinner?"

"Not yet sir, it's only five. Come back in two hours, please."

Kratos groaned loudly. He was reminded of why he hated the human world so much- all these meticulous rules and irritable people. He didn't say another word to the girl, and stormed out into the sun.


	7. Chapter 7

*/ Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, or its characters.

And thanks for your supportive comments! I really look forward to them now =)

PS. These next chapters aren't actually filler at all, I've decided that they're actually going to be pretty important to the story ;D */

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Chapter 7

Kratos was not in a very pleasant mood. Not to mention these emotions were starting to get on his nerves. Before he could compound his frustration any further, he decided his time would be best spent if he purchased new clothing first- his judgment attire made him stand out like a sore thumb. He wondered if that was why the woman had been staring at him like that. He shrugged and walked across the street to the armor shop, hoping that he had brought enough money for the next few weeks. When he had been "packing" he hadn't exactly counted out his quarters.

Since he had the time, Kratos decided to browse through the selection of outfits that were on display, eventually settling on a sleeveless deep indigo turtleneck and a pair of white pants. But when he was on his way to the cash register he thought about the practicality of his choice, and put back the pants. He was looking for something that wouldn't become easily torn or dirty if he were to camp out for the remainder of his stay- he picked through a pile of neatly folded pants, trying to see if they had his size. Kratos hated clothing that was too baggy, because in battle he didn't want to snag himself on branches or become distracted. It was one of the things he had learned from spending practically his entire life fighting, and he wasn't about to change on that point. He was lucky; they did in fact have what he wanted, so he went to the front, not needing to try them on- he could tell they were his size, just from looking- and he allowed the cashier to add up the price in his head. Kratos felt sorry for the man- on Tethe'alla they had machines that could do simple calculations like this. Not that Sylvarant would ever be so lucky.

"That'll be fifteen thousand gald, sir"

Kratos blanched. Surely he was bluffing, either that or he had added wrong.

"How much is the sweater, on its own?"

"Thirteen thousand gald, sir. It's a nice sweater, isn't it? Will keep you warm, and it's knitted with magic which will protect you from-" he kept going on about the good qualities of the sweater, and Kratos ignored him. He was beginning to hate this town.

Then, the door chime rang and they both looked to see who had come in. Kratos recognized the newcomer- it was the old man he had escorted from the forest only half an hour ago. He wondered if the old timer would remember him, or if he had been too blind to distinguish features. Not that he particularly wanted to start a conversation, of course, but Kratos was merely curious. He found it hard to understand, that old people could suffer such ailments naturally- he was on the highest side of three thousand, and had never experienced these things. So many lifetimes, and he would never know blindness, weakness, or the concept of deterioration. He felt it was interesting, but on the whole a much better position to stay young. To be truthful, such vulnerabilities were frightening to Kratos, when he tried to imagine what they must be like. He closed his eyes for a moment, and turned back to the cashier after he was ready to proceed.

"So, do you want these, or shall I put them back for you?"

Clearly, the clerk was trying to rip him off. Kratos was not to be fooled, there was no way inflation could have gone up that much… he sighed. He turned suddenly as he felt a hand on his shoulder, and it was the old man, grinning practically toothlessly. There was no mistaking him, of course.

"Well hey there, stranger!"

"Hello, sir."

"Is this the business you had in Luin? You should have just said so! This is my son's shop, just so you know, and this is him." He pointed crudely at the cashier, whom Kratos did see faintly resembled the old man. They both had the same colored brown hair, and rounded faces. Though the older man was nearly bald, there was enough hair there for Kratos to tell that the two had very similar hairlines, with a peak in the front and receding otherwise. It was amusing how similar they indeed were, upon looking closely. He realized this was one other thing he would never have- the old man may have been almost blind and unable to protect himself, but he had a family to succeed him. Kratos on the other hand knew that once he died, that would be the end, and he almost envied the person standing in front of him. Almost. But then he came to his senses, and realized how naïve he was being. _How can a four thousand year old man still be naïve?_

Kratos didn't want the answer to that question.

"You're charging him WHAT?" the old man was practically yelling.

"But that material was so expensive, father! I need to be able to sustain my family, you know!"

"Well when I was your age, I-"

The younger man rolled his eyes and harrumphed, looking away and acting completely rude in every way he knew how. Kratos was taken aback by this blatant disrespect, and completely changed his mind. He was very glad that he didn't have a family now.

"-and I didn't make my life better by charging others their life savings for firewood!"

"Well I'm not selling firewood, father, I'm selling clothing. Please stay out of this."

"He helped me get home today, I hope you know! I was chopping wood and accidentally crushed my glasses! If he hadn't appeared right next to me, I would have been stuck out there!"

"With all due respect," the son glared at his father, before turning to Kratos, "is this true, sir?"

"You doubt the word of your old man, now? You think I'm that looney now, do you?" Kratos realized the argument was becoming more heated now, and he tried to back out of it without hurting either man's pride.

"Please, calm yourselves. I was just on my way out." He hoped that was neutral enough to stall their argument. Or at least give him an opportunity to exit.

"See, you're driving away your customers with these ridiculous markups! At least give this man a discount, do you hear me?"

"No, no, that is not necessary. I'm done here, thank you anyway." Kratos patted down the clothing on the counter, and made for the exit, trying to gage what would be a reasonable reaction from a normal human. He decided that actually, he didn't care.

"Wait! Young man, don't leave just yet. Please." The old man was begging now. Kratos didn't want to cause a fight, seeing how unpredictable these people were. He stopped, just shy of the door, and frowned. He hoped he wouldn't have to turn around; he didn't know how much longer he would be able to take this.

The father and son were carrying on in whispers now, and Kratos wondered if they had forgotten he was still standing there. He was tempted to just continue out the door, and he wondered if they would even notice. But then they called him back to the register, and he ended up getting his outfit for free. Kratos walked out of the store in disbelief, following the old man who had now asked to be called "Pete," as he led him to his house for dinner, as an apology for all the trouble he had gone to. Dining with other people was not something Kratos enjoyed, but given the circumstances- his stomach growled again- he really had no reason to decline.

"So, what really brings you to Luin, young man?"

That question caught him off guard.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what are you really here for? Certainly not clothes-shopping. And you don't seem to need a weapon upgrade…" The old man eyed a shining orange hilt protruding from the sheath attached to his acquaintance's belt.

"…" Kratos had nothing to say to the man's deductions. Clearly he wasn't as blind as he had let on.

"And that outfit you're wearing now, it certainly isn't like anything I've ever seen."

Kratos began to feel uneasy. He didn't want to have to explain himself to anyone, and he made up his mind not to. He would allow the old man to make his own conjectures.

The old man, Pete, pulled him aside and motioned for Kratos to bend down. He whispered into his ear like a child, but his words were very serious.

"Are you a Desian scout? Are you their Leader?" the words burned into his mind. He felt almost insulted, and slightly terrified, that any human's perception could be so sharp. He hoped that silence would not betray him, but he was at a total loss for words.

"Ah, I see. I see. No hard feelings, then. Say, you never did tell me your name…"

Was this a test? Kratos couldn't be sure, but eh didn't want to get caught in the middle of it.

"It's John. About inviting me to dinner…"

"No need to thank me," Pete eyed him carefully, "I am so glad to be having a guest. It's been ages," he finished, quite sincerely. Kratos felt very uneasy now, as if he were walking right into a trap. Who was this "Pete" anyway? He didn't want to offend someone so mysterious without knowing what the outcome would be…

Dinner turned out to be surprisingly uneventful. Kratos was introduced to Analese, Pete's wife, and as soon as they were done with introductions she went to prepare their supper. They ate perhaps an hour later, and Kratos who was extremely hungry by that point finished his plate while it was still steaming. The elderly couple laughed merrily at his "youth" (to which Kratos joined in their laughter good-naturedly) and Analese brought him seconds. Surprisingly, Kratos was almost enjoying himself, although he was still bothered by Pete's accusations from earlier. He couldn't fathom what had possessed the man to jump to that exact conclusion so quickly, with clothing as his only hint, and perhaps the sword. These were not enough evidence for most people to jump to the conclusion "Desian." And for some reason, it truly unsettled him to be called that title.

When Pete, Analese, and their guest had all eaten their fill, they cleaned up the table together and Kratos thanked them for the meal. He tried to escape as tactfully as possible, but they wouldn't hear of it. They asked him to stay the night, trying to figure out why he would have to leave if he had just arrived, and telling him that it would not be wise to travel by night. Not wanting to seem suspicious (there was after all a Desian ranch just up the road a ways) he agreed to stay. He was not at all pleased to be told what to do, and even less pleased with himself for allowing social obligations to have a hold over him, but he rationalized it all by remembering the fact that he had a month to waste here, and no place else to go.


	8. Chapter 8

/* Disclaimer: I think I'm going to stop putting up a disclaimer, since it's kind of implied and I have 7 of them already... also, these events are not filler I promise! Even though they may seem that way, it's really just a big setup for things to happen later.

On another note, I'd like to thank everyone who had been reading =)

If you like it, leave a comment!

That is all. Enjoy =) */

* * *

Chapter 8

The kindly old couple had prepared a makeshift bed in their living room for Kratos, but despite their kindness he found that he was unable to sleep. Something was nagging at the back of his mind, and as much as he tried to ignore it, as much as he tried to distract himself from it, the thought never shank away. He was mildly curious to rediscover that thought, but he also felt very wary of it; he knew that the thought was not something he wanted to have in mind, but he was also unsure why he should hesitate to keep a clear mind. He had nothing to fear; as a man of four thousand years (as he was so often reminded in the past days) he had nothing to fear anymore. Nothing was exotic to him, or hard to understand; nothing was beautiful or particularly enjoyable, and nothing surprised him, nothing- he had to stop there, and then questioned his pause. _What was it that I found surprising? I can almost remember…_

Eyes, he thought. Just the word at first struck him, but then he was seeing them as clearly as if she were right in front of him again. He could just imagine, almost feel the forest-wood brown eyes staring right through him, but he didn't want that. It wasn't that they were fearsome or intimidating at all, anymore- they made him feel lonely, for some reason, and terribly sad. It made no sense at all, if he thought about it logically. Even allowing that his chance encounter with a test subject had lead to a theoretical re-bonding with humanity, and that his awakening had somehow been started by their first meeting, it couldn't even begin to account for the degree to which he was still bothered by memories of her. They weren't hardly worth remembering- it was so frustrating to Kratos- to think he had known the person for less than ten minutes of his ridiculously long life, and was affected so drastically was, to say the least, disturbing. And on that subject, he realized too late that he had been thinking of A012 as a human being, and no longer exclusively as a project.

Her eyes had been so intense, once. So fiery and strong, he had felt them as well as seen them, and he had respected her for that. But she was now a mere shadow of her former self, being consumed slowly by a Cruxis crystal while her mind, according to theory, would be trapped inside her impassive body. These thoughts were going in a direction Kratos did not like, and he tried to direct them, but the more he tried not to think, the more strongly they pranced through the rift he had sealed them into. He suddenly envisioned a white film bubble, shaped like an oval dome inside his own head, and watched it sway gently. Then out of nowhere, something clawed its way out from inside, enveloping everything in darkness, which was oozing continually out of the rupture, like a blister in his mind… he felt someone calling his name, but he was shrouded in the blackness, unable to see a thing.

Our angel of Cruxis woke up sweating, chilled, and suddenly aware that he had drifted off to sleep while thinking. He made a mental note of it, wanting to never experience such a thing again. It was unsettling, but this time he did not try to put it from his mind. He allowed it to settle there in the open, and he allowed himself to feel the emotions connected with his dream. Kratos was tired of running away from his questions; he hadn't known that was what he had been doing, but now he did and he knew it didn't suit him. He did not like the idea of being a coward, in any way, and he fully intended to-

"Ah, you're awake!" Pete was smiling as his head appeared upside-down and from above; he was standing behind Kratos, bent practically double, leaning over into his new friend's field of vision. This took poor disoriented Kratos by surprise, but luckily for him his physical reaction did not reflect his state of mind. He hoped that Pete would not notice the sweat on his face, or the clammy nature of his skin. _Act natural, act natural and he won't suspect a thing._

"Good morning, Pete."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you. I will have to be going soon, though."

"I see. Thanks for staying with us, we were delighted to have you. But if you wouldn't mind too much, could I walk you to the city gate…?"

Kratos didn't see how he could say no. After the kindness he had been offered, there was nothing he stood to gain by offending this man. He nodded and stood gracefully, fully dressed in his new turtleneck and pants. He had changed after dinner and hadn't planned on sleeping, but luckily Pete didn't seem to find this too unusual. Or if he did, he didn't let on, and Kratos was glad for that. He grabbed his sword and put it on, as well as his old costume which he kept in the sack his new clothes had come in, and they walked out the front door closing it quietly.

They were halfway through the town before Pete finally spoke. Kratos knew he wasn't being escorted for walking's sake… in his mind it had only been a matter of time.

"John, I'd like to ask you something. When I asked before if you were a Desian- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse-"

"It's all right."

"It's just that, the last time I saw someone with such exotic clothes, they had come as a lone swordsman too."

"Last time?" Kratos was intrigued now.

"Yes, last time it was an old man, with grey hair and squinted eyes… I thought he was even more blind than me, so I took pity on him and invited him to my house. He asked a lot of questions…"

Kratos was wondering if this man he was describing could have really been Kvar. It certainly sounded enough like him, but what would a Desian Grand Cardinal have been doing in Luin, talking civilly to inferior beings?

"What kind of things did he want to know?"

"I'm not sure, John, but he was very persistent. Not just to me and my folks, but just about everyone. And then, after he left…" Pete stopped walking, and turned away.

"What happened?" Kratos' voice had a note of urgency now.

"Well, you see…" he had to take a breath, and his breathing was becoming ragged.

"Is something wrong, are you all right?" Something came over Kratos as he turned the old fool around, so that he could see his face. He was beginning to cry.

"Just tell me," Kratos said more softly this time, "…what happened here?"

"The Desians came, a week later… they took… my daughter. They took…" He sniffed loudly, pulling away and trying to dry his tears.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to lose it in front of you. But when I first saw you there, I was so sure… I thought you were one of them. I am still not sure, but… I trust you, John. You're not like that other man…"

"…"

"That was almost ten years ago, but still, I… I haven't been able to let go. They took several people, but it wasn't like the other times. They hardly killed anyone at all, they wanted… they wanted them alive…"

Pete sniffled loudly, and cleared his throat. Then he turned back to face Kratos, with a crooked smile on his face.

"But I know that you're different now, and I'm very sorry I suspected you."

"You were right to do so. But I do have one question for you…"

"Anything."

"You're not actually unable to see, are you?"

Pete laughed, quite convincingly.

"I knew it wouldn't fool you for long. But it did allow me to get closer to you."

"Hm. I see."

"I'll be sad to see you go, John. I like you. You're a good man- you will always be welcome at our house, if you should ever return to Luin."

"Thank you" Kratos said, glad that he was finally being freed under such good circumstances.

"Anytime, young man. Anytime at all."

Why all these jokes about being young? Kratos was glad to be getting away from here. What did he care if the Desians abducted people? That was their job, after all. He turned his back to the old man, and walked out the city gate.

…

He walked for hours, with no particular direction in mind. The dirt path was there in front of him and he followed it, trying to think of something else to occupy his time. There was one thing he knew for certain, though- he was sick of dealing with humans, was going to avoid towns at all costs. _Even if I have to be rude, even if I have to walk away saying nothing, even if I have to kill someone…well, that is debatable._

"I don't want to kill anyone…" Kratos mumbled, more as a reminder to himself than a sudden revelation.

He realized how soft he had grown now, and it was upsetting.

"I shouldn't be feeling upset at things like this!" he yelled. And he cringed at the sound of his own voice.

_Why the hell do I keep talking to myself? What the hell is wrong with me these days?!?_

He stopped walking for a moment, realizing the soreness in his muscles and the tense, knotted ligaments around his joints. He was more aware of his own body, after all this time, than any normal human and he also knew that he had been having a very busy few days. Kratos stood on his toes, stretching his arms toward the sky since nobody was watching. It felt nice, up until the part where his shoulder started throbbing from his encounter two nights ago. He remembered it so suddenly, it was like being hit with a brick, and he felt unbalanced. Kratos stopped stretching and walked over to a tree stump, sitting down to place his head in his hands.

_Why am I even here? Why am I such a failure? I've had such a long life and I still can't even answer my own questions…_

Kratos sighed, at a loss for words. Frankly, he felt disgusted with himself, and frustrated that he was so out of control. He ran his gloved hands through his hair, allowing his exposed fingertips to trail through to the ends before threading them through again. It was soothing to him, and he knew that nobody would find him here. Even if someone were to stumble up the path and spot him, it would not be of any consequence- he was incognito here, and these travelers were of no importance to him. That was the beauty of Sylvarant- he could come here unnoticed, and live unnoticed, because the people could be counted on to focus only on themselves. Well, usually that was the case. Kratos had to admit that the old man had been an interesting exception, albeit an irritating one. He sighed as he continued to massage his red-auburn hair, trying to decide how to waste one month. One single month! He wondered how the other years had passed so easily, and sighed again, as he felt his mind beginning to clear.


	9. Chapter 9

/*Wow Yuan is a totally different person than I originally imagined him! But, I like him... he is so cool. I wish I knew him in the real world... -sigh-

Oh! By the way, the story is going to get much more interesting in the coming chapters, I promise!

Thanks again for your support!

PS. Sorry I've been so much slower the past few days. Winter break, visiting with family, and all that jazz... and it doesn't help that I am addicted to playing Path of Radiance (Fire Emblem) which I received as a Christmas gift. xD*/

* * *

Chapter 9

"Finally, I found you."

Kratos sat upright, stunned, because he knew that voice all too well.

"Yuan, what are you doing here?" He warily turned to face his friend.

"Kratos, I was going to ask you the same question. Mithos asked me to start keeping tabs on you, but I had no idea you were…"

"Tabs on me? Why?"

"Well, Kratos, I don't blame him. You can't deny that you have been acting strangely…"

"Humph."

"Don't you start with me. Come on, let's go back, we can talk there…"

"Don't treat me like some sort of invalid. And don't talk to me like you have control over me. I may be human, but that gives you no right to-"

"Hey, hey! What is wrong with you, Kratos? Seriously, what the hell happened to you?"

Kratos sighed heavily.

"What's with the sighing?"

"Sorry, Yuan. I honestly don't know what's happening. It all started after-" he stopped abruptly, as he realized he was leading Yuan toward the answer he was looking for. If Mithos was trying to get answers, Kratos was determined not to let him find any. The kid hated him enough as it was, he didn't need to add anything which could be grounds for something worse…

"After what? Keep going."

He wondered how long he would be able to withhold information from Yuan. If he made a run for it, he would only be followed, and there would be no escape since they were matched in their abilities. Not to mention it would be even more out of character. He stood firmly on this, much as he was tempted to flee: Kratos was not a coward, and he would not behave as one.

"I see I cannot hide anything from you, so I will tell you what I know. But I guarantee it isn't much, and it won't make more sense to you than it does to me."

"Try me."

Kratos stood up from his tree stump and looked his friend directly in the eye. They hadn't ever been on the greatest of terms, but just their shared existence was enough for him to feel as if they were brothers.

"Do you remember when I came to your room the other day?"

"Yes, how could I forget? You were so flustered, but I thought you would come back to talk to me when you were more..."

"Well," Kratos continued, ignoring the other man, "it all started when I was doing inspections, and at the Asgard ranch I ran into a human who was attempting to escape…"

Kratos told him the factual details of that event, and of his return for the inspection a few days prior, but kept everything else to himself. He would not let on anything more than Yuan needed to know. He wasn't even sure what else there was to say, anyway.

"So a host body made you feel uncomfortable, and you wound up like this?" Yuan still had a serious face, but from the light in his eyes he was clearly amused.

"..." He had no retort prepared for such a blunt statement.

"You're saying that you're acting this defensive because you ran into a piece of _research?_" Yuan was incredulous. Kratos sighed loudly, as clearly, this was not going to end well.

"You know what I think, Kratos?" He snorted haughtily, as his eyes regained their cold nature. It was a half-elf thing, that unfeeling gaze, but Kratos was well used to dealing with it; it had no effect on him anymore.

"I think that you're affected because you like her."

"I what?"

"You think of the test subject as a woman, Kratos. You respect her."

"How do you figure that? She's just a human."

"So are you."

Kratos was at a loss for words. Of all the degrading things his friend had hurled at him over the years… to suggest that he, angel of Cruxis and co-ruler of the worlds, could be feeling attached to a human… it was a good point, and perhaps he did respect her a little for being strong, but this conclusion made absolutely no sense. Yuan was trying to mess with his head, he could see it now, and he was trying to manipulate him into saying something more believable. Kratos was pretty sure he had it all figured out, so he tried to throw him off guard with the truth.

"I don't like her, Yuan. I was interested because of the circumstances, but she is nothing to me."

"As if, Kratos. You're lying to yourself. Look how much she's influenced you already. You may be partly angel like me, but your reactions are as human as any of these…" He waved his hand for emphasis, across the open green land in front of them. "You were one once, you know. Human."

"…" Kratos searched for words he could say to that. "Well you're half human yourself. Why are you so beyond this that you can diagnose me?"

"You forget, I was in love once. I at least know what that means, I can at least see it for what it is. I'm not saying that I understand it, or that I can guide you through it, or that I was any better at it than you- I am just able to see it because I've been through it before."

"You're saying that you think I love her now? This is ridiculous. I haven't ever said a word to her."

Yuan just shook his head, grinning slightly and struggling to ignore the humor he found in that statement.

"Why are you making a joke of me? Cut the crap and go home, Yuan."

The blue-haired man broke into a wide grin. He couldn't help himself. "Sure, sure, I'll just go back all by myself. And what reason am I going to give Mithos for your stay here?"

"Tell him whatever you want. It's your job to find out, isn't it? And you know as well as I do that he's not going to believe this stupid concoction of yours anyway."

"Come on, Kratos. You don't have to take it like that, I'm trying to help you out here. You don't really want me to report this as the reason you came down, do you?"

Kratos took a minute to think it over. No matter how he looked at it, this was an elaborate ruse to get to the real reason he had left, and that was fairly unbelievable as well. The fact was that he didn't like Derris-Kharlan, and he never had enjoyed being there at all. He had come here in order to take a break from it, was all. And here this guy was trying to make something bigger out of it. He knew Yuan wouldn't understand, so he decided to let him win this time.

"I don't care, Yuan. Do whatever you want." He tried to sound as menacing as he could, but Yuan wasn't impressed. _I forgot, that only works on humans. It's been a while since we've argued like this._

Yuan stared at him while he tried to form another coherent thought. He really just wanted Yuan to get out of his sight, but he had enough of a handle on himself to remember his manners- unlike that half-elf.

"She's about to die anyway, Yuan. Why would I love her? It would be illogical." He was talking softly, trying to bring down the intensity of the argument and make his friend see reason. He was trying to gently tell him that he was wrong, or rather, to prove that there was no possible way he could be right. Sadly, his words had the opposite effect.

"See? You do love her, you said it not me. And you were a human once, you should know that humans by nature are never logical. It was bound to happen to you someday."

"Really, Yuan, is that all you've got to say?"

"Well, no. But I can see that this is where you're going to stop listening. You're only human, after all…"

"Listening to you make up stories about why I've been feeling off lately isn't exactly something worth listening to."

"I suppose from your perspective, that makes sense. Look, I don't want to argue with you anymore. But I am curious, so I have one more thing to ask you."

"Go ahead, I don't really have a choice."

"I've always thought your old outfit looked pretty uncomfortable, but why did you buy a new outfit without Lord Yggdrasil's permission? You know how he is… and it's rather bland, I must say. He won't be very pleased…"

They both thought immediately of Mithos in the white spandex suit he had designed, and Yuan began to chuckle before quickly stifling his blasphemy.

He cleared his throat loudly. "Why do you wear those things he makes, anyway, Kratos? They're hideous." He had managed to regain a serious tone of voice, but amusement was still visible in the corners of his eyes.

"He's never much liked me, Yuan. As you can see he gives me all the mundane work already. I didn't want to make things worse."

"No, I suppose not. Well, anyway, come back with me and we'll try to work this out with him. And we've got to get you straightened out, too. You could do much better than an exphere, you know."

Kratos wasn't sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult, but it didn't make him feel any better so he decided to lump it in with the rest of the demeaning conversation. He tried to think of a good reason to stay on Sylvarant, but he couldn't come up with anything at all. If he tried to stand up to Yuan again, he knew it would only put him deeper into the hole he had dug for himself, and he knew he would never be able to outrun his fellow angel of Cruxis if he tried to get away. So, he allowed Yuan to escort him back to Derris-Kharlan, where he would be forced to spend the rest of the month trying to regain his dignity.

...

* * *

**A/N from the Author:** This scene wasn't originally part of the story, but I decided it was a good way to sum up Kratos' transformation thus far. He may seem to be acting out of character, but it's because feeling "love" is out of character for the Kratos we know in the game. Father-son love is much different than boy-girl love, so that is why he seems like he's going crazy... he can't remember ever having loved somebody else before, and it took him by surprise when he met Anna (he's still in denial about it though ;D).

And if that's still not a satisfactory explanation, then I'll just rationalize it by telling you that if Kratos was the same person before he met Anna as he was in the game, then he probably wouldn't have gone to the trouble of saving her. Yuan himself tells Kratos "You changed after you had a family" or something to that effect. So since we don't really know how the guy came to love somebody and have a kid, I made it up =)

Long live Kranna!! =D


	10. Chapter 10

/*

Disclaimer: Again, I don't own the characters or Tales of Symphonia. Although I suppose Anna's personality is fairly unknown, so that is something I'll be adding in... still don't own her though.

And to my reviewers: Thanks so much for the advice and support! They mean a lot to me =)

*/

* * *

Chapter 10

Precisely one month later, Kratos found himself swiftly approaching the Asgard ranch for another evaluation of the Angelus Project. More than anything, he wished to be invisible. He couldn't fathom why the thought had occurred to him, but it was definitely appealing. Not that he knew how to disappear, or that if he could it would be practical. He settled on wishing that he could be back in his room-he had spent much of his down time brooding there- rather than being on Sylvarant again. Something about the place had intoxicated him last time, made him almost lose his mind. Kratos was none too keen to experience that imbalance again, though given the circumstances he was in it was hardly avoidable.

He touched down roughly; he hadn't been paying attention. _Too much thinking_, he chided himself. Kratos had landed a little further from the entrance than usual, but he decided to close the distance by walking. He proceeded through the main entrance, and walked to Kvar's office. He hadn't been there before that he could remember, but he had studied the base schematics in his spare time since it was now part of his routine to visit.

"Kvar, I have come to inspect your progress on the Angelus Project."

"Ah, yes. This way."

"I can make my own inspections." Kratos glared at him coldly before exiting the room.

Kvar smiled and called in a Desian security officer, asking him to tail the official of Cruxis in secret. After the man had gone, he turned to the hologram recorder in the corner of the room. After Kratos had left his ranch, he would report everything to Lord Yggdrasil. These visits would be the key to gaining the trust of his true superior. The middleman was of no concern to him; in fact, with any luck, he would be replacing him by the end of the century, he thought. But Kvar had no idea of the relationships between the three leaders of Cruxis- he only knew of their immortality, and that it was one thing he had not yet achieved in his long and successful life.

…

Kratos spoke to the guard outside the door to A012's holding room. Something had made him extremely nervous on the way down, and he realized that his hands were beginning to perspire. He entered cautiously, remembering what had happened the last time he had seen her. _It, actually; I should be referring to the host body as an "it"._ But something about the way the female was collapsed on the floor made him feel a stab of pity. He walked over to the body, glaring down at it from his full height. He would not stoop to the human's level; he could inspect her from where he was. Kratos moved her arm with his foot, so that the crystal growing into her hand would be fully visible from beneath her long, ragged hair.

She hadn't been on the floor the last time he had encountered her, but he knew it shouldn't bother him. It was not his problem if the humans here were suffering, because the human ranches were established to bring equality for all life. He knew better than most that nothing would be accomplished without a price. He knew that fact beyond any doubt.

The exphere looked as if it had grown a significant amount since his last visit. Perhaps it had been absorbing her vitality at a faster rate. He would put it into his report, along with possible explanations for the phenomenon. Perhaps it would also lend ways to increase productivity. Not that the speed of manufacturing would make any difference to Mithos. He knew the boy was only doing this favor to the world on behalf of his sister Martel, after all. When she awakened he had planned to show her the new world to gain her respect, and wanted nothing more than her love. Kratos had nothing to say on the matter, and knew that even if he did, Mithos would never change his mind based on what others thought. That was what made him strong. Kratos had been like that too, once…

He stared down at the mysterious creature at his feet. _The process shouldn't take too much longer now… good._ He bent his knees to balance on his toes, reaching toward the subject's hand in order to test if the crystal was smooth. It was an interesting color, the deepest of reds- not azure like a typical exphere and not quite the red-orange hue of a Cruxis crystal. As he ran his fingertips along the gem, he felt slightly uncomfortable. He had to remind himself that he was examining a specimen, and that this was a perfectly acceptable procedure. Interestingly enough, the crystal was smooth, in contrast to the roughness of the hand which it was attached to. Kratos drew his hand back, preparing to stand, when he saw the host body stir slightly. He realized that she was trying to grab at his hand, and was thankful that he had already pulled away. He hadn't realized she had been facing him as he examined the developing sphere, but it was of no consequence now. He turned quickly, and walked toward the door.

"Wait, please…" she managed to whisper the words, before starting a fit of violent coughing.

Kratos knew there was no harm in granting her this last request, so he stopped walking to give her a chance to speak, keeping his back to her. He didn't want to give her the impression that he was eager to listen, either. He hated to admit it, but he was curious to hear what she was going to say- never before had he seen someone capable of resisting the stage of Toxicosis which robbed a human of their memories, essentially their heart. The last stage of the angel transformations he had seen were always carried out along the controlled process of Mana Usurpation, where a Welgaian posing as a priest would take mana from the body of the Chosen while he or she was most vulnerable- after battle, during a prayer- which usually worked quite effectively. He was curious to see how this natural course of the disease could be different than that he had already seen… _or perhaps, it is the subject which is stronger. _He dismissed that thought quickly, not wanting it to cloud his judgment.

She stopped coughing abruptly, and Kratos turned to look. There was a small amount of blood by her cheek, which had run from the corner of her mouth and smeared into her already matted and scraggly hair. It was a disgusting sight to behold, but he didn't look away. She was still struggling with impulses to expel the liquid from her lungs, but she was also trying to mouth something, clearly trying to form words but unable to produce sounds- she was gasping oddly, and tried to gesture with one hand as she propped herself up with the other. While Kratos was staring at her, she suddenly stopped moving and hit the floor with a dull thud, impassive once again. He wondered if she was even alive, and walked over to check her pulse. He was surprised that he remembered how.

"Humph. Still alive." He muttered, not aware that he had even spoken.

At that precise moment, the guard at the door walked into the room. Kratos dropped her hand quickly, and stood. He felt extremely… uncomfortable. Guilty, as though he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. Although he knew it was his job to inspect the host body, he wasn't sure how checking her pulse could have been all that different.

"Is everything all right, sir?"

"Yes, why?"

"You were taking much longer than usual, sir."

"I'm finished now."

Kratos strode quickly from the room, the color in his face turning slightly. He couldn't understand it yet, but there was definitely something about the woman in that room that had a power over him. There was simply no way around that fact anymore. And Kratos hated to think about it, but if he did, he was no longer constrained to thoughts of her eyes. He thought of her, and felt things as he thought- even just leaving the building, he couldn't get her sickness out of his mind. He couldn't help feeling guilty when he thought of her will to escape, which was crippled by the exphere growing out of her body. The more useful she became to Cruxis and the closer she was to becoming this evolved crystal, the less she was able to control her life. It was silly to think, since of course her life belonged to the crystal right from the beginning, and the crystal belonged to Cruxis, therefore… A012 belonged to Cruxis. Kratos hadn't thought about it like that before. A012 was the property of Cruxis, and so were the other people on the ranch… in fact, all humans in Sylvarant were basically the property of Cruxis, since so many Chosens had failed they had condemned themselves to that. Should the balance shift, however, since he was assigned to aid the next Chosen on her journey- if Tethe'alla was in decline their bodies would be the property of Cruxis too. That made all humans property of Cruxis…

Kratos was flying high over the clouds of Sylvarant when he finally came back to his senses. It was dark, and he wasn't sure how long ago the sun had gone down. He wasn't sure what to do either, because after thinking about everything that had happened, he had developed a strange desire to help A012 escape before her death. He would help them recover her exphere later, but if she could finally escape the ranch and enjoy that moment of freedom… well, it would help him stomach those twinges of guilt, for one thing. It might even make the exphere stronger, he reasoned, if her spirit was strong when it was finished off (not that he could know for certain, but it was a thought nonetheless). Not that he cared about the power of the exphere of course, but it would be something he could tell Mithos. That was all he really needed.

Kratos dipped below the clouds, curious to see if he would be able to recognize where he had flown to- he hadn't been paying attention while he was brooding. There was a small lake of twinkling lights on the horizon, and he decided to land in the middle of the forest to avoid being seen. As he got closer to the city, he began to recognize the terrain: he was on the outskirts of Iselia.

…

Two days later Kratos found himself in the woods outside the Asgard Ranch, for the second time in as many months. This time however, he had come with a purpose half-etched in his mind. He was glad he had done some research into Angel Toxicosis while he had been on Derris-Kharlan, but now that the knowledge had brought him here, he was not sure it had been a good idea; he reached into his side pouch for the fifth time that afternoon and fingered a peculiar ring made out of inhibitor ore which he had just bought. It was slim and dull, with incredibly small markings carved into and around the middle. Kratos still couldn't believe he had commissioned the thing- he wouldn't have, he knew, if he had gone straight home. But he had flown to Iselia, and discovered a dwarf living nearby…

He shook his head forcefully, his messy auburn hair shifting and glinting int he late afternoon. He kept willing these ridiculous thoughts to disappear into the four thousand years of dull memories, but they did not; they kept nagging at him, and he felt ready to claw them out of his brain, if only he knew how. The key crest in his hand didn't look like much, but he knew it would restore the girl's control of her mind. He knew it would give her the power she needed to die as herself- though she seemed to be holding on better than anyone he had ever seen. Yet here he stood, holding it his hand perhaps five hundred yards from her window, looking up and wondering what he should do.

He wanted to help her escape, and he wanted to give her the ring so that she would be free at last- but he also knew that this was a step he would never be able to explain to Cruxis. He had rationalized it to himself, perhaps, but it would never sound reasonable to Yuan- let alone Mithos. But he couldn't risk giving it to her the in secret and leaving, because if she didn't try to escape and they noticed she had regained herself, there might be questions. Not that the Desians would immediately expect her to be wearing a key crest, but if they did notice the ring, they would take it from her and that would be the end of it. Then there would be questions, since Kratos would have been the last person to have seen her, most likely… and she would also be much more miserable if she was aware of herself and stuck in captivity than if he left her the way she was now. It wasn't likely that she would be able to outwit the guards a second time in her condition.

This left Kratos with one other option- his original idea had been to set her free, in addition to giving her the key crest. Then she would have her chance to run, and she would be free from the ranch for a few days tops before she was caught again, or more likely found dead. He remembered her condition much more vividly than he wanted to- not that it was anything particularly horrid, only that it was something he didn't like to think about and it kept pressing down on him, making him uncomfortable. Kratos knew that no matter what actions he took, she would still die- but it made him rest a little easier knowing that no matter what he did, it would not make much of a difference. In this way, as long as Kvar still got his research project in the end, would it really matter that the subject had been happier in the last days of her life? Kratos knew full well that he was being unreasonable, but then again whenever he was near that woman he always seemed to be that way. It was the strangest sensation he could remember, and it was at the same time very familiar- he couldn't seem to place it, but he felt a vague desire to see her again. He didn't know what it meant, and he frankly didn't care. There was only the matter of orchestrating her escape, in a way that would keep her from knowing who had done it. Because if she saw his face, if she knew who he was- it was just _not_ a good idea. Every fiber in his being seemed to know that for a fact, and he wasn't about to go against that.

It would have been better to just skip the whole plan and go home, he knew, but as he looked up at her window and waited as the sun went down, he knew that he wasn't going back. He thought about his room back on Derris-Kharlan, and the paperwork waiting for him there- he thought of his stacks of books and the idle life he had led for so many uncountable years, and he knew that there was no choice about it anymore- he couldn't go back to that life while there was this tiny key crest resting in the palm of his hand.


	11. Chapter 11

/*Disclaimer: need I say it?

If I was in the habit of naming my chapters, I would call this one "fanservice." xD */

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Chapter 11

Time seemed to pass so slowly for Kratos, as he waited for night to fall- he would wait for the stars and moon to guide him, and for the cover of darkness which would mask him. The sun had finished setting, but it seemed almost slow motion as twilight crept onward. He had grown tired of pacing, and was now gliding back and forth with his wings, dragging his toes in the wild grass on the forest's edge. He made sure to stay hidden from view, but he was quite impatient and wanted to finish his task so that he could get it over with and move on.

The plan was fairly simple- grab the girl, take her out the window into the forest, and be sure to stand behind her as the key crest makes contact with her skin. After he had become sick of waiting, which was probably only a matter of minutes, he decided to take an extra measure in his plan and went quickly to Luin to purchase a length of string- he made the ring into a necklace so that he would be able to slip it on her from behind. If she recognized him and was re-captured before she died, Kratos knew that he would never be able to live it down once the Desians made the connection. His rescue had to be as detached as possible, and he would have to monitor her progress so that she wouldn't truly escape. She belonged to Cruxis, and if he helped her to evade them then he would be betraying his own system of beliefs and loyalties. He knew he was thinking too far into the future, not to mention he was blowing things out of proportion, but he figured that anxiety in a situation as strange as this couldn't be helped. He still wasn't even sure why he was doing this- all he knew was that it would be much harder not to.

When he arrived back in the forest, it was night. He looked up to the heavens, and tried to imagine the giant rock of mana floating above him. Somehow, he had never been able to picture it- he so loved the stars that he couldn't imagine anything else blocking them out. Kratos took a moment to walk up to the edge of the trees, and looked up at the girl's window. As much as he tried to mentally prepare himself, he was unable to calm his nerves. It was such a surreal feeling, this anxiety- he couldn't remember the last time he had felt anything half as intense as this. But he tried not to think about it as he pushed off the ground with his toes. He rested a hand on the pouch with the necklace, and sighed heavily as his wings carried him through the darkness. They sparkled magnificently, and he wondered vaguely if he should have waited for mid-night to do this. Then he figured that he wouldn't have been able to wait that long even if he tried, and resigned himself to carry on quickly, though carefully- with the risks he was already taking there would be no margin for error.

He reached the window, and found it was shut. This didn't bother him, however- Kratos unsheathed his sword and wedged it between the wood and stone frame. With a bit of effort, he was able to use the power of his wings to give him enough leverage to open the window. He sheathed his sword again and used his hands to open it further, taking a quick look inside before climbing in.

Kratos wasn't sure what to do, now that he was here. In planning, it had seemed simple enough to just grab the girl and go, but now that he was in the room he realized that the window wasn't big enough for him to get through with a lady in his arms. He would have to get her to stand close enough to the window for him to be able to reach her from outside. He wondered if she was even able to stand, because as he walked closer she was still on the floor in the same position he had last seen her. Suddenly worried, he knelt behind her and reached for her hand, thinking to check her pulse. She lashed out and slapped him hard, right below his eye. It stung, and he wondered how she could be so strong even though she was practically dead.

"Guess she's alive, then." He muttered quietly to himself, half-smiling until he realized it and became serious again.

He was curious, though, how to move her without being attacked. She wasn't in control of herself, and so it was only natural for her to attack someone in self-defense. Although all he had done was try to hold her wrist- he wondered how she was going to like flying. It had to be done, though, because he hadn't gone to the trouble for nothing. He walked around to kneel in front of her, and cautiously held out both his hands where he knew she would be able to see them. She did not react, so he proceeded to slowly reach for her torso, thinking to help her stand. He felt vulnerable as his face came closer, and he wondered if he was about to be slapped again. However, now that he was moving slower she seemed to be okay with his presence.

He sighed with relief, and with extreme care he wedged his hands underneath her slim frame, one at her shoulder and the other at her lower back. He had to admit he felt a bit awkward as he propped her up into a sitting position, and saw her staring right through him. It was slightly unnerving, but he was thankful she had at least refrained from slapping him again. He recalled his last visit- she had socked him hard in the shoulder, and knocked him to the floor. He half-smiled again, and whispered "humph" before setting to work once more.

He felt strange touching her, even though he knew it meant nothing. Looking into her lifeless eyes made it feel wrong somehow, but he was here for a reason and he wasn't going to turn around and leave. It was because of those eyes that he had come, in the first place- he wanted to see them bright and wild once more. Lifting her arm cautiously with one hand, he placed his shoulder next to her body so that he would be able to help her stand. Her arm rested across his shoulders and his other hand fell into place around her waist. He closed his eyes, fearing she would try to resist, but thankfully she seemed indifferent to touch. Kratos wondered what had set her off the previous times, but didn't have any complaints to make as he made to lift her upright. He had expected her to be light considering how sick she looked, but she was surprisingly heavy. The angel had some difficulty standing from a crouch with her weight, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. A smirk came across his face again as he thought of her, but he quickly put it from his mind. This was not supposed to be a person, anyway- she was a project. But with that logic, it made no sense to be rescuing an inanimate thing. He didn't like thinking about that either, so he tried to focus on the task at hand- after moving her to the window, how was he going to get her out?

Kratos knew he wasn't a big puzzle solver, so he felt rather proud when he realized that he could hold on to her and drag himself out the window with his wings at the same time. With the woman situated on his lap, and he sitting in the window frame, it was possible to pull himself out backwards with a small ducking of his head. He had to carefully move her head so that it wouldn't touch the top of the window frame, but after he had successfully done so Kratos figured he was home free. One thing he hadn't thought of, however, was the toll her weight would take on his already exhausted wings.

He had been flying halfway across Sylvarant twice in the past few days, and both to and from Luin on his errand- he had been pacing to and fro with his wings out, and basically spent the majority of his mana flying around without rest. Under normal circumstances, carrying someone this heavy wouldn't have been too much of an issue, but with his mana at these lower levels, Kratos found that he was unable to hold her up. Everything happened so suddenly, and the angel found himself unable to react quickly enough to save himself. He hadn't let go of the other body, but it was dragging him towards the ground faster than he could have predicted. The wings on his back only lasted for thirty seconds of the flight- they had glided for those seconds towards the trees, but as soon as he felt the mana at a life-endangering low he drew them back in, and they disappeared. Kratos felt himself falling, and didn't have time to react before he turned in the air, crashed through the branches of a tree, and landed facedown on the wild grass. He lifted his head and tried to see where the woman had gone, because she was no longer in his arms- the last thing he saw before he blacked out was a shimmering yellow speck in the distance, slowly descending toward the ground.  
.

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A/N: Anyone completely lost? Don't worry, everything will be straightened out in the next chapter =)


	12. Chapter 12

/* And the fun part begins! (I love writing action xD) */

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Chapter 12

Kratos opened his eyes with a start, and immediately felt as though he were being electrocuted. Every nerve in his body burned as though it were on fire, as if air itself was a corrosive acid. He couldn't remember ever feeling this horrible in his life, and it took all of his resolve to keep from crying out in pain. His eyes were plastered open, and they burned too, but he was scanning the area, searching for something. Although he couldn't remember what exactly it was, he knew it was very important. The darkness made it hard to see, and his vision seemed to be slightly blurry. But out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly caught a glimpse of a golden glow and his memories returned to him.

He stood quickly, looking up at the sky and trying to judge how much time had passed. It was still dark, which was promising. He knew that as soon as day broke, or as soon as the guards next entered her room, Kvar would know she was gone. She would not be safe if she stayed here- she wouldn't last more than an hour after they decided to send out search teams. Kratos staggered under the burning in his legs, and the soles of his feet. His clothing rubbed the fire into his skin, made it easy to imagine being cooked alive even, but he stumbled toward that golden glimmer because it was the last thing he remembered. He had no idea where the girl had landed, but he had a strange idea…

It was surreal to see her, even with poor vision, silhouetted against the dark trees. Her tangled amber hair was sparkling with the light from her golden wings, and her thin frame was illuminated in just such a way that Kratos felt his mind go blank. He felt nothing, and thought nothing in that moment- he just stopped where he was and stared at her, completely lost, completely in awe. _She must be a true angel._

But he snapped out of it, and chided himself for the foolishness. _There are no true angels. There never have been…_he sighed though breathing deeply pained him, and walked closer to her. He reached to his pouch, which miraculously was still at his side. As his fingertips tried to unfasten the button, he kept his eyes on the woman- she really was a sight to behold. It would really be a shame… and suddenly he remembered that she would be dying soon. She was an experiment, after all. Nothing more. She was property of Cruxis, and nothing more. But his fingers were blistering with the effort to unbutton his pouch, his whole body was drained and aching, all for the cause of trying to free her. It made no sense even to him, and he forced himself to look away, aiding his hands with vision.

_Could Yuan have been right, after all? _Kratos finally had his pouch open, and carefully scooped out the makeshift necklace. He realized that he hadn't threaded the cord from Luin through the band of the ring yet, and so he attempted to do it with the light from her wings, and sparse lighting from the moon which managed to filter through the forest treetops. _When I ask myself why I care, I… I can't come up with an answer. _It was harder to do than he had thought- his hands were shaking and it hurt to just hold the two pieces in his hands. _Could it be true that… I am attracted to her? No, that's already obvious. It's more than that… _He had to stop for a moment, and close his eyes. It was too much, too soon. He felt unable to deal with everything that had happened so suddenly. It had gone from a simple favor, a simple way to kill time, to escape boredom… it had gone from simple things like these to something much harder to comprehend. He didn't like the conclusion he had come to, but how could he refute it? How could he believe it? _How could it be, that I… care? For her?_

"How could it be that Yuan was right?" Kratos grumbled, as he finally had the necklace ready in his hands.

_Here goes…_

He winced slightly as he reached around her holding the necklace, still standing behind her. It amazed him how beautiful her wings truly were, and he was curious how they had become available to her as she needed them- but he supposed that her body would have tried to preserve itself, and put the questions from his mind. He recalled suddenly the dangers of getting near her, and braced himself for a slap, or a punch, or perhaps some new sick and twisted form of self-defense… but thankfully, nothing came. He proceeded to tie the necklace at the base of her neck, and wondered if there was something he had forgotten. She hadn't moved at all. Then he remembered that the key crest had to be in contact with her skin, so he sighed heavily and cautiously tucked the thing into her shirt.

She didn't react immediately, but Kratos was fairly certain she would be regaining her senses now. He didn't want to linger, but perhaps if he told her what to do, she would wake up with an idea of where she was… he tried to think of something useful to say.

Leaning in toward her ear, he brushed her hair out of the way and whispered softly. "If you value your life, run. If you value your freedom, don't let them catch you again." He tried to think of something else to say, but couldn't think of anything meaningful.

"You're free now, so… do what you want." He stepped back, and her wings disappeared. He felt utterly ridiculous, in light of everything he had just done- he would heal quickly but helping an exphere escape and becoming injured at all were incredibly hard to fathom. Two months ago, he would never have dreamed this were remotely possible, and yet here he was. Not that he would have dreamed much, before; but he was utterly human now, and incredibly weak. Everything was much darker now that her wings were gone, and he stepped badly on a log which caused him to fall down. But someone was holding his hand, and he looked up in horror.

The woman had a firm grip on his wrist, and it was extremely painful. Considering the searing pain which air alone caused him, and which clothing inflicted as he moved, this was something so far surpassing them that he could not feel it at all. It was so painful, that he felt numb where her fingers grasped him. She yanked him to a standing position, and he was taken aback by her sudden strength. He wondered where it could possibly be coming from, because it was so strange to see a beaten and bloodied woman jerking him around like this- then he happened to look down and see the exphere grown angrily into her hand. Her veins fed it with blood, and in return, while she was in control it was giving her-

Lips, his lips! Pain, his too- she was… kissing him? He hadn't been paying attention. Her other hand was in his hair, pressing the back of his head and threatening to make it explode. Her lips were pressing against his own, and it felt as though his nerves would burn her too in their fiery rage. But he wasn't opposed to the attack at all, in fact- it was pleasant to feel that agony, and when it was over he couldn't help thinking he wouldn't mind going through it again. His mind was somewhere else when suddenly, he heard her speak.

"Hey, are you alright? That was for helping me escape."

He couldn't find anything to say.

She leaned in close again, and he closed his eyes. But she quickly stepped away, and released his hand. Now her voice was almost angry. He hadn't heard a word she said, and he opened his eyes lazily to see her glaring at him. She looked ready to throw a fight now, and he rolled his eyes.

"And I still hate you, you got that? Don't roll your eyes at me! You people have _no right_ to go locking up innocent people and farming them like animals!" She was screaming now, and Kratos wondered what had set her off. Though he figured it had something to do with the part he missed, he couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. He didn't know what he had been expecting, but definitely not this. His ears were throbbing now, too.

"Look, I…" He tried to fish for words, but again nothing came to him. He realized that he was practically whispering, but he was too overwhelmed to pay it any mind. This whole shock thing had drained him more than the fall.

"Hey, but I guess that can wait till later. Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. You really don't look too good, you know…"

Kratos looked into her eyes, now, though he could barely see- he saw concern in them, and fire not unlike the fear he had seen before- he wanted to smile, but it was too much effort. He wasn't sure what expression he had on, but he couldn't feel a thing anymore. He tried to sigh, but only made it halfway before the air in his lungs left him coughing. There wasn't much time before he would need to rest again, he knew, because even though his body would regain mana quickly he felt himself slipping into unconsciousness. He was unsteady on his feet, and slowly bent down to a squat.

"Hey, hey! Stay with me, don't… look at this gash on your head!" She was screaming again, and he was tempted to simply give in to sleep. It just wasn't worth the pain of listening to her voice…

"Look, I'm only going to tell you this… once. So listen to me. You're putting yourself in danger by giving away your position, you are endangering your freedom by wasting it talking to me. Go. Just…"

He felt completely used up. He wondered what it meant being a member of Cruxis if he was still mortal, after all. Having wings hadn't spared him his humanity. He wished that he could have thrown it away, so that he could have lived on happily writing reports and doing the mundane… chores. He wished he had never met this crazy, ridiculous woman… what were fleeting moments of feeling worth when he had to suffer like this? He wished he had an answer to that, and wondered if this was how it felt to die. To feel nothing, at all…

"Don't close your eyes! Shut up and listen to me!"

She slapped his face, and his eyes popped open instantly. It was painful, but he had had just about enough.

"Get away from me." He was looking down but his voice was cold, menacing. He was done putting up with her. This had been a stupid idea all along. He was angry that he had let those stupid eyes overrule his better judgment. He wondered if after all this, he would finally die… he wondered if anyone would ever find his body…

"Fine! Fine, you know what, I don't care. Thanks for setting me free, I'll just go now and leave you here to die. When they find you in the morning, traitor, they'll kill you if you're not already dead."

"Humph."

"They'll come looking for me, won't they? What was the point of even setting me free? You know I won't be able to outsmart them…"

Kratos took one long, hard look at her. He was on the ground now and he felt like shit, but she was so beautiful… even when she was angry. He couldn't feel angry at her anymore, and he couldn't really regret anything he had done. He took the moment to just look at her, his body weakened and longing for rest- but he also felt another type of longing, and it pulled at his chest. It felt like a black hole, it felt like his body was going to collapse even though he was already sitting down, but he knew it wasn't real. It was a feeling, and somehow, she was part of it. Somehow, looking at her made it hurt more than anything else.

He closed his eyes, and let out a weak sigh before he collapsed on the forest floor, just on the outskirts of the Asgard human ranch.

* * *

**A/N:** Oh noes! Hang in there, Kratty! lol

Just wanted to let you know that the reason she's trying to keep him from going to sleep is that for humans, if you have a head injury it's really bad if you sleep right afterwards, because it can lead to memory loss, etc. But then again, Kratos isn't entirely human because of his exphere, so it's a toss-up whether or not certain human rules apply to him. He hasn't really experimented with them yet, so you'll have to wait and see what happens next! =)


	13. Chapter 13

/* -Enter Disclaimer here-

If anyone's still confused after this chapter, you can leave your questions for me and I'll answer them for you in chapter 14. Sometimes I have too many things I try to get across at once, so it's entirely possible that I forgot to say something somewhere... lol */

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Chapter 13

Kratos woke up warm and comfortable, in a bed. He wondered if he was dreaming. He wondered if this was how one was supposed to feel after they died. Without moving, he turned onto his side and drew the blankets closer. It took a while for him to remember he had eyes- he was curious where he was but at the same time he didn't want to open them. He was so comfortable, and so at peace, that he did not want to risk upsetting that balance…

Something cold and wet touched his skin, his forehead, and he groaned softly. It made him shiver. But suddenly he realized that he was warm, much too warm under the blankets. He felt them in his hands, and they were rough- like flour sacks. He felt his peace slipping away; he was suddenly extremely uncomfortable and irritated. The bed was hard, and lumpy, and the wetness on his head was now touching his cheeks, making him shiver again though he wasn't cold.

Finally, when he could not bear it anymore, he opened his eyes. It was slightly difficult to do- his eyelids seemed to be stuck together somehow. But he reached up with his hands and massaged them gently, feeling tiny clumps of something shift free of his eyelids and allowing them to open properly.

"You're finally awake! Thank Martel…"

It was the woman, the angel… again he remembered the events from before.

"What are we doing here? Where is this?" He tried to sit up, but she shoved him back down. _She's still so strong…_

"Just relax. I brought you here, after you collapsed…"

"Where is this? We were in the forest…" he looked right into her eyes. "You should have left me there." He added darkly.

"I couldn't just leave you there, you know. Not after I realized you were still alive. It wouldn't have been right…"

"What is your name?"

She looked stunned, and took a moment to just stare at him.

"I have a right to know that, at least. What do people call you by?" She looked at him quizzically. "I want to know." He added, trying to sound reasonable. It came out sounding more like a demand.

"Anna. My name… is Anna."

"Okay, Anna. I need two things. One, I need you to let go of my shoulder- it hurts."

She jumped backward, and Kratos chuckled lightly. He liked having the upper hand. The element of surprise was finally working in his favor. He took the wet rag off of his forehead, dropping it on the floor.

"And two…" He looked right into her eyes, right into her bright pupils, and threw off the covers. He sat up and turned to have both feet dangling off the bed in one graceful movement, and was standing before she could say another word.

"I need you to tell me where we are."

She just stared at him for one quick second before she burst out laughing. Kratos suddenly wasn't in the mood for games.

"Seriously, I don't know how you managed to bring me here, but if we're anywhere near the ranch we're putting the owner of this house in danger."

Anna put a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter, but she had to turn away because she couldn't contain herself. Kratos wasn't used to being laughed at, and was becoming extremely irritated. She sunk to the floor, shaking with silent giggles. He was infuriated.

"Will you stand up and just answer my question? It's for your benefit, not mine."

She turned her head to peek a glance at him, but Kratos realized she wasn't looking at his face. He looked down, and realized that his chest was bare. He looked further and he wasn't wearing very much in the way of pants, either. He had a bandage on one of his legs, but other than that they were bare. He was absolutely humiliated. He couldn't control his rage- he grabbed the girl by her shirt and threw her out the door, giggling harder than ever. He slammed it in her face and felt ready to destroy something with his bare hands.

He had to remind himself to breathe. It was difficult to just stand in one place, but he did not want to lose control of himself. Kratos leaned against the door with his back, and realized that the skin ached dully with the pressure. He was feeling much, much better from the night before, but his flesh wounds would take longer to heal than simple mana-replenishing. But, he still half wished that he could have just been dead, rather than wake up to having that horrible girl laughing at him! The anger in his face softened as that thought echoed in his head. She definitely wasn't horrible. Anna was…

He ran his fingers through his tangled and blood-matted hair, leaving them there with his palms touching the sides of his head, and he sank down to a crouch with his back still against the door. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, hanging his head and opening his knees. It wasn't the most comfortable way to sit, but it felt natural somehow. He kept thinking about how horribly wrong his plan had gone- she had seen his face, and now she thought she had rescued him. There was no way of predicting what she would do now, but she didn't really seem on the verge of death anymore… he had underestimated her, in many ways.

_Will I be able to turn her back in?_ The thought had been nagging at the back of his mind, but suddenly it became a very important question. _If she is strong enough to stay on the run, will I be able to return her to Cruxis? _He sighed again, and gloom started to settle in his chest. _Should I let her go?_

Nothing was making any sense at all. He rubbed the damp bandage on his scalp, and suddenly wanted to smile. _Why smile?_ There was nothing funny about this at all. In fact, once Mithos discovered that he had helped an exphere escape, there was no telling what would happen to him. And Yuan had probably already told the kid everything he knew in his report, because they being half-elves had always made them much closer than Kratos had ever been permitted to be. Maybe Mithos would take Yuan's love theory seriously… that would be a true problem, right there.

_Why frown?_ The question seemed to ask itself. He had no idea where it came from. Kratos knew perfectly well that he had plenty of reasons to frown. He was being held practically naked in some person's house, by some research experiment host who was stronger than him and incredibly temperamental. He had fallen from a height of probably three stories into a tree, and sustained injuries for the first time in oh, three thousand years? Oh, and he was also inexplicably tied to the woman who he had set loose on the world, because as much as she was irritating, she was also the only person he had truly sympathized with as far back as he could really remember. Except maybe Martel, whom he had once felt sorry for- but that was so far in the past, and he had never been able to return her feelings… this was completely different. Uncharted, wild territory- it was completely nuts. Completely unpredictable, no matter what he did. This humanity stuff was absolute chaos. _But I do know that I like her. _He smiled lopsidedly, before he realized what that actually meant. It was stupid, and how could that possibly be true? But his heart throbbed as if to taunt him, and he knew it was true. He did like her, more than he could say.

He thought about when she had kissed him, in the forest, and the pain of that contact but the absolute… pleasure? Was that what he had felt? When she had turned around, owning her eyes once more, and the first thing she had done was kiss him… it had made him feel incredibly… happy? Was that the word for it? He couldn't really remember. But it made no sense that this could be happening to him… a leader of the future world! An angel of Cruxis! It made no sense at all, that someone like her could make him behave so strangely, and could have such power over him. _It doesn't make sense, but you know it's true._

Kratos wished that his brain would just shut up. Thinking things like this wasn't helpful. Was that even proper grammar? He wondered how to phrase that thought, and digressed into thinking about these trivial matters…

…

Suddenly she was pounding on the door, screaming for him to open it. He stood so quickly, that the door was open in less than a second and she was pounding on his chest instead. She was obviously terrified, her eyes were red- she looked ready to cry. Kratos had to fight a terrible urge to wrap his arms around her, but managed to win over that impulse. He grabbed her hands instead, and looked right into her eyes. She looked away.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" He needed to know. He didn't care what it was, he would fix it for her.

She wrenched her hands free of his grasp, and pushed him into the room, kicking the door shut behind her. It slammed loudly, and he felt sorry for whoever else lived in this house. She wasn't exactly easy company, he was sure.

"John, listen to me. My parents! They went out to the market and haven't come back. Someone just came to the door, and told me that the Desians are back… they're rounding up everyone by the inn and interrogating them… they've killed someone already!"

A tear slid down her cheek, and Kratos wanted more than anything to wipe it away. But he was afraid to make her more upset, so he kept his hands down by his sides, awkwardly wondering what she expected him to do. And, what had she called him? John…? Of all the ridiculous… why John…?

Suddenly it hit him. She hadn't said much, but he knew exactly what was going on.

"You… you're their missing daughter? Is this Luin? Anna, is your last name Irving?"

"Y-yes… how did you…?"

He took a moment to stare at her bright eyes, round with shock, but she blinked and looked away again. She turned away from him and wiped her eyes with her hands, and he heard her sniffle quietly. Kratos knew what he was going to have to do, but she wasn't going to like it. He decided not to tell her.

"Look, I'll help you, Anna. Just this once. But first, I'll need some clothing…" he gestured to his underwear and tried to make her smile. She turned around to look at him- wasn't laughing but she wasn't crying anymore either.

"Take some from the closet. They're my dad's."

"What happened to the… the clothes I was wearing before?"

"Oh, you don't have time to put those things on. It took me an hour just to get them _off._ What was the point of wearing all those belts, anyway John?" she cocked her head and half-smiled, trying to be serious. Her eyes were still red and slightly swollen now, but she seemed to be recovering herself.

"My name's not actually John, it's…" he stopped himself. It would be suicide to tell her his real name, if she was recaptured- there would be no doubt in anyone's mind that he was responsible for… for…

"What? Your name's not John?"

"Kratos." He cringed. Why oh why did he just tell her his name? "My name is Kratos."

And then it finally hit him that there was no going back. As much as he hated it, there was nothing he wouldn't do for this girl. Justice or no, he would give up world peace to keep her alive. He wasn't going to let her die.

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A/N: Sorry, the mood was getting so serious, I couldn't help myself ;D

And again, if you have questions just leave me a review and I will make sure I answer them for you =)


	14. Chapter 14

/* Wow, Kratos has really changed since the beginning, huh? I was re-reading the first chapter and I totally forgot he was that boring xD

Thanks so much for sticking with me! Things in the story are moving really fast right now, but I promise there will be some balance, soon-ish... in a few chapters maybe possibly lol. If you like things moving fast, don't worry- I'm sure it will happen again. I tend to alternate, I guess. In the chapters so far, sometimes there had to be action, and sometimes there had to be a bit of catching up. And most importantly, you've probably noticed that one of my favorite things to do is make each chapter slightly unpredictable. xD */

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Chapter 14

The clothes were old-fashioned and were too short on his arms and legs- he was almost a foot taller than Pete, whom he had met once before- but there wasn't any time to complain. Kratos insisted on keeping his Cruxis outfit, however, and while Anna went to retrieve it off the clothesline he took the brown sack she had given him and slipped in some bread and cheese from the kitchen. He felt like he couldn't tell Anna they were going to run- of course she was the person they were looking for. They would have no way of knowing that she was already here, but if they were going to wait around for her to show up it would not be wise to linger. There was no other logical reason for the Desians to be here, killing people. She had to know that, and he wouldn't be the one to rub it in- she had been crying before so she must have realized then. It was ridiculous of her to run to Luin, she had endangered everyone in the town- but it was too late now. It was amazing that she had made it the whole way with his weight in tow, but he figured that she had probably flown with him… he would have to warn her about the mana that angel wings consumed… she wouldn't know, and he didn't want to risk having her experience what had happened to him the night before.

"Here you are. Don't know why you insist on keeping these things… actually, it's amazing that they didn't rip last night. You got injuries, but the clothes were just fine…"

"It doesn't matter. Come, we need to go."

He motioned for her to follow, and she slowly walked toward him. She narrowed her eyes, suddenly suspicious.

"Where are we going? You haven't told me that yet."

"Where would you like to go? I would recommend traveling south, away from the ranch. There's not much more in the north, anyway…"

"You mean you want to… leave? Right now?"

Kratos looked at the woman incredulously.

"You would rather stay?"

Her eyebrows came together and he realized he had touched a nerve. He wasn't sure where or how he set her off, but he tried to keep from rolling his eyes this time. She seemed to get angry over the most trivial things…

"You're horrible! Despicable! There are people getting murdered outside, and you want to just run away while nobody's looking? Let them give us a head start, or something?"

Kratos wondered what was wrong with that logic. It seemed fine to him.

"I can't believe this! Why did I even bring you here? You're no better than those Desians! You may have human ears, but…" she shook her head, almost sadly "you have no human heart."

"Where are you going?" he was getting frustrated now. He wasn't used to being reprimanded, especially not by someone like her. Besides, he had a heart! He saved her, did that mean nothing? What was she getting at?

"To where the rest of the town is, of course. That's where I belong, too."

"No, you don't. Anna, you know that they're here because they are looking for you. They don't know you're here, so you still have time. And you plan to just walk right up to them and turn yourself in?"

"Of course I…wait, they're what? Looking… for me? Here?"

"If you were a Desian, where would you start looking?"

"…you have a point. It just proves that you think on their level. And it doesn't change what I'm going to do either. In fact, that makes it even more important that I get down there…"

She reached for the door handle, and turned the knob- Kratos extended his arm and put his hand on hers, to keep her from swinging it open.

"They will take you back to the ranch, where you will live until you die. I won't be able to rescue you again."

She turned away, pretending not to listen.

"Do you even understand what I am saying? You. Will. Die. There." He tried to make a big emphasis on the dying part. This girl seemed to forget that in her oh-so-brilliant plan.

"What's it to you, Desian? I still don't understand why you let me leave in the first place. For all I know, you called your friends here to pick me up. Some sort of sick twisted game, I wouldn't put it past you…"

He raised his eyebrows at her ridiculous concoction, but said nothing. She wasn't even looking at him now.

"I _hate_ you. Okay? I _absolutely despise_ you. I have no idea why you let me out of the ranch, but I've had my day of freedom. Thanks for that, but now I'll be leaving." She gave Kratos a very powerful glance, and he couldn't help but see the determination in her eyes. "There are more important things than being free."

Kratos didn't stop her when she pushed the door open, and strode out quickly into the sun. He was too dumbstruck by the things she had just said.

"More important than freedom…? What the hell…?" he said it out loud, but it made no more sense than when she had said it.

For someone who had never been confined himself, it was hard enough to comprehend how terrible that must be. He sometimes felt trapped by being on Derris-Kharlan, but that was a whole city. He could still eat when he wanted, read when he wanted, and leave if he wanted. Anna was willingly marching back into her cell, which would probably be relocated to the most foul, awful part of the ranch- and she was doing it either out of sheer stupidity, or by choice. Her words had been spoken rationally, but all things considered, they made absolutely no sense.

Kratos had to squint as he walked out into the bright light, and closed his eyes as he turned to close the door behind him. It was uncomfortable being in Luin in the summertime- it was always like this. Hot, and blindingly sunny. He didn't like it at all. But he was too curious, he had to see what Anna was going to do. It still seemed extremely likely that she would just walk right into the forest, despite her big words- Kratos hadn't known her for very long but he figured that she was just too proud to admit that it was her only option. _Or maybe she really did just want to get away from me._ That thought was harder to swallow, but it also made sense. He walked forward cautiously and scanned the area for the swish of her brown hair. He didn't see her, but he figured she must have taken off running.

It would be difficult to find her in the forest during the day- he couldn't risk flying around with all the people out of doors. He hoped to Cruxis that she would have the sense to not go flying around either. But that left him with very few options, since he knew that the odds of finding her on foot were… undesirable. If he went to the center of town, and took a look at the spectacle- yes, at least then he would know for certain that she had escaped. He started running in the direction of the marketplace she mentioned, near the inn, but kept his eye out for Desians. He had no desire to be rounded up with the other humans…

Kratos was within earshot of the marketplace now, and he heard a crowd of perhaps twenty, or maybe thirty people breathing quietly as a single voice rose and fell with accusation.

"And how're we supposed to know you're who you say you are?"

"Because of this!"

Kratos recognized that voice. Suddenly he stopped running. What was this weird feeling he was going through now? His heart was pounding wildly, but he knew it wasn't from running. Something was terribly wrong… was this… fear? He couldn't remember, and he didn't care. He looked from side to side for something to stand on- he found a barrel, and brought it over to the side of a house. He climbed up onto the roof and inched forward on his stomach, careful to stay out of sight.

"Oh, let us see that. Hmm… you do fit the description…"

If the other feeling was fear, then Kratos supposed that the one he was feeling now was something akin to panic. But he tried to reason with himself. _She's got to have some sort of plan. She's strong, she'll…_

Another voice took over for the first Desian.

"Let's make an example of what happens to humans who run away from the ranch…"

Kratos peeked over the rooftop. He had to. He twitched as the Desians brandished their whips, and a shiver went down his spine when the one in front started to smile. Just from looking he could see the difference between the half-elves and the humans. If not for the clothing, it was the demeanor- humans always played the part of 'scared animal' while the half-elves could always be counted on to lash out like animals… they didn't feel remorse quite like other people, from what he had seen over four thousand years. It never changed.

But Kratos was half expecting Anna to do something different- with her fire and strength, he was counting on her trying to attack the Desians. Or something to that effect. Maybe she would spit in their direction, and say they weren't worth her fists of fury. Kratos hoped it would be something stupid like that… but he was completely taken aback when she just stood there, as the Desians walked up to her. There were only three of them, and he was sure she could have handled them. Even without the crowd helping her, she could have taken them down. But he looked on in horror as the first Desian lifted his whip, and had to bite his lip to keep from crying out as the first blow landed on her arm. Strange that he seemed to hurt too when they whipped her. He heard the three Desians taking turns, and he just couldn't look away. _Whack whack whack. Whack whack whack…_

The townspeople were shaking, he could hear them. An infant started crying, and a terrified mother was trying to muffle the sound by covering its mouth. People were looking away, they couldn't bear to watch. Anna was bloodied, and her clothes were torn so badly that they barely covered her chest. Every time the weapons hit her skin, he could detect the softest whimper, that nobody else would be able to hear. He couldn't watch anymore. Kratos just couldn't watch this. He wanted to climb down and crawl away somewhere, because there was nothing he could…they were Desians, just doing their job... but what was their job? Why was this necessary? He couldn't remember.

He was halfway back down from the rooftop when he heard her fall to the ground, like a limp pile of bones. Why wasn't she fighting? Why was she allowing them to do this? It made no sense at all. Even if she was here on a crazy emotional whim, it wouldn't explain her failure to preserve her own life. He almost wished he had never given her the keycrest- maybe she would have lived longer as a mindless vegetable... at any other time he would have laughed at the irony. But right now she was being made to suffer, for no reason at all... _there are only three of them. Why doesn't somebody stop them? Somebody, somewhere...?_

They were the offspring of Cruxis, founded by Mithos Yggdrasil. They were entrusted with bringing world peace at last, they were soldiers simply doing what they were taught to do. The picture was a scene of punishment, for a person who had escaped a human ranch, and was trying to escape justice. Kratos knew all this, but he also knew... that he didn't want her to die. He refused to let her die. And at this rate, she wasn't even going to make it back to the ranch in one piece. If anyone was going to do anything, now was the time... and he realized that it was going to have to be him. If anyone was going to save Anna, it was going to have to be him. Her parents were in the crowd, watching sadly. Her brother was probably hiding in his clothing shack, waiting for the storm to pass while his sister was being brutally... no. Enough. Feet now solidly on the ground, he drew his sword from its sheath at his side, and began whispering an incantation.

"Sacred powers, cast your purifying light upon these corrupt souls.... rest in peace, sinners." He held the sword horizontally in front of him, and felt the magical winds blowing his hair and clothing. It was soothing, as if they were trying to tell him it would all be over soon... he lifted his head and opened his eyes for the last word. "Judgment!"

He didn't have to look to know that he had hit the three Desians dead-on with beams of holy light... he didn't have to get near them to know they were dead. He had just killed his own underlings. He'd just killed half-elves, and there was just no way to rationalize it. He was afraid of himself, of his wild actions and uncontrollable emotions. What if next time, he were to kill someone else? What if, after all this, he would be inclined to kill Mithos one day? Or Yuan? Or... he wondered who else he would regret killing. _Or.. Anna. I would never forgive myself if I were to let her die... I know I would never be able to kill her, at least..._ That thought seemed to come out of nowhere. It troubled him, so he tried to put it off in his mind where he would never find it again. He tried to clear his head- he had to go to her now. Anna needed him, and he wasn't going to keep her waiting. Never again.

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**A/N: **Sorry I had to break the chapter here, it was getting too long and I know you guys want to read it as soon as possible... so don't think of this as the end of the scene. It's more like a breather in the middle of one long chapter =)


	15. Chapter 15

/* Finally, it's the last time they'll be using "John" hopefully… gosh that name doesn't suit dearest Kratty AT ALL. -_-

Oh, and to answer Cataclysmic Eclipse's question- I am indeed writing these chapters as I go. Sorry if they're too soon after each other, but I feel silly stockpiling them too. For some reason I tend to write in binges, so when I'm in the mood for it I write a lot and when I'm tired of it I just re-read what I have so far. I tried to work out a way to make my posting more spaced out, but I generally write one or two chapters every day and save them up for when I can't write, so that I end up posting a new chapter just about every day (there are exceptions, of course). Although I did start school back up again, so it might be a little longer in between chapters if I have a lot of homework that week or something. Sorry if it's too much to read at once, but I can't really change the whole binge thing. haha xD

If it's easier, you can just take it at your own pace. You don't have to stay up with the newest chapter if you want to take more time with each one. I know I do that sometimes, for stories that are already complete or that have a lot of chapters already. Sometimes I like to just read one chapter and think about it for a while before I read the next one, stuff like that. =)

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**A/N: PS. If it's not too much trouble**, I'd like to ask readers to maybe go back and re-read the last half of chapter 14 (skipping my comments) so that it flows together with this one… this chapter is more like "Chapter 14 and a Half" and isn't really as enjoyble when read on its own… don't want to lose the emotion in the moment =)

If you don't want to it's fine, but if you do go back I think that everything will make a little more sense, maybe. Up to you, though =)

Enjoy! */

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Chapter 15

Kratos listened closely from behind the building where he had cast Judgment- he didn't want to draw attention to himself right after the spectacle he had just caused. Most of the townspeople had scattered, probably out of terror at the beams of light. Others who were more brave were now encircling Anna, trying to decide what to do with her… they didn't bother to whisper. Kratos had to fight down his anger so that he wouldn't lash out at them. She had just been willing to give up her life for them, the least they could do was respect her… he hated these weak humans. He could hardly stand them. They were absolute dogs.

He turned around the corner of the building, and pushed through the circle more roughly than he really needed to. He wanted to see her, to save her… but he had to take her away from here. It wouldn't be long before the next shift of Desians would arrive, seeking to replace their comrades only to find them dead.

"Anna…" he gasped when he saw her, and waved his hands brusquely to move the other people out of the way. She looked much, much worse than when he had first taken her into the forest. But could he risk giving her a first aid charm here? In front of all these people?

He kneeled in the dirt and cradled her head in his hands. His hair fell into his face and he remembered that he was still bandaged and messy as well- he hoped that none of the villagers would be able to give an adequate description of him to the Desians… not that he really cared anymore at this point. He took a long look at her face, and saw that she was still conscious when she turned her head to focus on him. One of her eyes was extremely swollen, and he realized that she must have taken a lash on her face… he felt so angry at himself for not stopping the whip-wielding mongrels sooner. Blood was oozing from sharp cuts everywhere on her body, mostly around her arms and chest. Luckily, miraculously, the ring was still hanging from its cord around her neck.

"Anna, why…" Kratos whispered, his heart still racing. He hadn't gotten over the panic stage yet. He knew he wouldn't until she was in a condition to yell at him again. He wanted to hear her condemn him a Desian, he wanted to hear her tell him to leave, anything at all if it meant that she was feeling well enough to do so. He felt like he deserved a good telling-off, once he was able to fix her up again. Something in the pit of his stomach clenched tight and he had to think harder about breathing. Again, he knew it wasn't any physical problem… _can it really be emotions that are doing these things to me? _He didn't care to find out.

"It's not safe for her to stay here. I would ask that you allow me to take her with me, for now. I will see to her full recovery." He was speaking to her father and mother, now.

"John, I know I said I trusted you before, but…" Pete looked agitated, probably at the sight the two young people made together- one injury right after the other.

"Yes, John, that's our daughter. We can't just let some stranger…" Anna's mother looked quite uneasy as well. Pete suddenly looked horrified that his wife had spoken so bluntly, and tried to cover for her with bumbling words. It was quite clear they didn't want Kratos to take her.

But the townsfolk began arguing heatedly with the two parents. They seemed to feel that the town would be ravaged again if more Desians came- they seemed to want to be rid of the troublemaker as soon as possible. They didn't realize that Anna had given up herself for their sake, they just saw her as a creature which brought misfortune upon their town…Kratos could hardly bear to hear any more. He had been thinking it for a while, but every time it came around again he felt even worse. He wondered if he was going to have to run off with her by force. The medicine they had available in Luin would never be enough to save her. And if by some miracle it could, he knew it would leave scars… he didn't want her to have scars. She was so… beautiful. He looked down at her face, felt her hand lift up slightly and land on his chest. Her delicate fingers curled around his borrowed shirt, her blood staining it red. Kratos felt hot, suffocated. The people were still arguing. There just wasn't time for this. He felt his eyes beginning to sting- he wondered if he had gotten dirt in them.

"Look, I'm going to take her to another town and see that her wounds are properly treated. I swear upon my word as a swordsman, I swear upon Martel, and anything which you hold dear- I will not allow this person to die. If she wishes to return after she is well again, I will bring her back. You can settle this matter then."

It was the most he could remember saying in a very, very long time. Nobody spoke after that- they didn't dare. Even her parents just stared at him, dumbstruck. The backs of his eyes started burning, and had to close his eyes. He stood up with Anna in his arms, looking down so that hair was covering most of his face, and a small boy handed him his forgotten brown bag with bread, cheese, and his old outfit. Kratos couldn't look at the townspeople anymore- he thought there might be a tear on his face now and he didn't dare shift his hands to wipe it away.

"Thanks" was all Kratos could choke out, before he turned and started walking towards the town gate. Nobody tried to stop him, they didn't dare.

…

A faint whisper woke Kratos, and he was startled to find Anna still in his arms. It didn't seem real at all. But he regained his composure quickly, and leaned in closer to show he was listening now. He must have nodded off. It was night, and they were deep inside a forest. He had walked down the path out of the city for show, but as soon as he was sure that nobody would see, he had darted into the trees and started to run. It was no wonder that his legs ached now, he hadn't moved in hours.

"Kratos…" she breathed, so very quietly. Even with his sensitive hearing, it was on such a low register…

"Anna? It's okay. I used a little bit of magic to heal you. I'm… sorry…" his voice broke slightly and he dared not continue that sentence.

Even though he had used first aid many times since they had stopped to rest, she still seemed to be in a lot of pain. And even though he knew the wounds were closed, and the dirt was expelled from her body, he hadn't been able to let go of her except that once to heal her, and to build a fire from the tree branches around him. He couldn't stand to put her on the ground for too long. He wondered if that was what she was trying to say, to ask… he wondered if she would rather be back at her parent's house. It was silly, of course she would be wishing that. She hadn't agreed to come out here with him, after all. He didn't want to hear it if that was the case she was trying to make. But he couldn't well ignore her, either.

"Kratos…" she sounded a little stronger this second time, although her voice was still very faint. It was more of a hoarse whisper- the Desians had managed to whip along her neck. First aid charms were supposed to help with every part of the body, but perhaps these more serious wounds would take longer to heal… Kratos had never encountered something quite like this before. He wished he knew stronger healing magic, but without elven blood, it had taken him years to master what little he had....

Anna finally opened her eyes, or rather just her right eye- the left one was still swollen almost shut. She moved her hand, which had been resting on her middle, and lifted it to lightly touch his arm. It was like being touched by a butterfly, so delicate and fragile… he wondered how she could have allowed this to happen to herself. He cursed that he had allowed her to do this to herself.

"Don't try to talk too much, okay? Just hold on."

Kratos thought he detected the faintest trace of a smile on her lips. But he dismissed it, because why in the world would she be trying to smile at a time like this? He ran his fingertips through her long hair, starting at the roots by her scalp and carefully avoiding the injured parts. He hoped it would feel nice, but he was worried that he might hurt her without knowing, so he stopped quickly.

"Thanks" she whispered. He wondered if she was thanking him because he had stopped threading his fingers through her hair, or for something else. But there was no way of knowing, so he just kept holding her. She hadn't said he couldn't . His arms were tired, but he didn't want to move. She looked comfortable enough… it was the least he could do for her.

…

But eventually he did have to shift her- his arm was completely numb and he was afraid he would drop her. Kratos gently touched her face, to let her know he was going to move. She lazily opened her eye, and focused on his face. He moved slowly so that she would not be shifted too suddenly, and he was extremely careful when he lifted her to sit vertically. He liked the feeling of having his arm back, and it was a nice plus to have her head resting on his shoulder. She was sitting in his lap still, but the only bad part was that he couldn't see her face this way. Anna had been laid out in his arms like a hammock for most of the day, so he decided that it was about time she ate as well now she was sitting up. Kratos held her to his chest while he reached into the sack next to him with his other arm, and pulled out the bread he had smuggled that morning.

"You hungry, Anna? I'm sorry I don't have much for you right now, but I took some bread from your parent's house this morning…" He felt uneasy all of a sudden, talking about her parents. He wondered if she really had been against leaving, if he had taken her away from her family wrongly. He wondered what right he had to make such decisions for her. But he knew that he was the best person for the job of healing her properly, so he couldn't regret his choice either. It was a toss-up, really. He hoped she wouldn't resist eating- she had to be hungry by now.

She tried to turn her head to look at his face, but he felt her jolt and realized it was probably because the tissue on her neck was still healing. He shivered, but tried to keep it as low-key as possible.

"Anna, please be careful. I don't know how long it will be before I can use magic again right now…" he sighed heavily, wishing that weren't the truth. "If you're hungry, could you reach for the bread here?"

She rested the top of her head against his jawbone and he felt her fingertips brush his hand as she took the bread, and he felt himself smile for the first time in what felt like days. Although a thousand years had gone by without feeling anything at all, somehow here on Sylvarant each day was different, and stressful in its own way. And he smiled much more often during these times than he would have been able to imagine two months ago… he felt like he had been through a lot, whereas before so many days had felt like nothing. He wondered what was different, but it seemed like a silly question- he definitely knew the answer to that one. But it made no sense that happiness could be linked to bad experiences, or that feeling happy could be so simple. It was a flat out paradox. And he wondered how it was even possible that in the midst of it all he could really be sitting in a forest outside Luin, with a runaway exphere who had driven him to madness in a single month calmly picking at her dinner and sitting casually in his lap.

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**A/N:** Wow, I never expected to get this far... 30,000 words down, and the story's just beginning really =D

Thanks so much to all my reviewers, you really keep me going! And thanks to everyone else who reads it too =)

There's plenty more to come, I'm probably just as curious as you are to find out what's going to happen. haha. See you in Chapter 16!


	16. Chapter 16

/* Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, or any of the amazing characters... although Anna's personality is for the most part guesswork.

Sorry it's taken me a few days to get up this chapter, I've had a lot of stuff to do for school and I also spent a while trying to make this chapter have a little more substance. I'm trying something a little differently, to add some spice. ;D

When I switch to Anna's POV, just bear in mind that she doesn't know everything that's going on. Actually, neither does Kratos whenever we're looking from his perspective, but that's what will make it interesting. Well, that's what I'm aiming for anyway. lol*/

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Chapter 16

Kratos and Anna sat in the darkness after they finished eating- Anna had insisted that he share the bread with her- and they sat in silence just staring into the flames of the small fire he had built. It was starting to go out, but something about the glow made it hard to look away. He wasn't sure how long the silence lasted, but it was the good type of silence- it was the kind that could be shared in good company. He was glad he didn't have to speak, because lately he had been having trouble finding words, anyway.

Eventually when embers were all that remained, Kratos tried to decide whether to rebuild the fire. It wasn't cold at all, to him- then again, he had never been one to feel hot or cold very often.

"Anna… are you cold?" he spoke quietly, because he felt odd breaking the comfortable silence.

She said nothing.

"…Anna?"

Panicked again, Kratos listened for her heartbeat. But he quickly felt stupid for being so excitable- it was loud, and strong. _She's asleep._ He couldn't help smiling. It was difficult to keep himself from laughing too. How was it possible he could care so much about one person? He didn't even care that it made no sense anymore- he had accepted it.

Kratos looked up through the trees toward the sky, and kept on grinning. He was so happy, to feel alive again. It felt so good to get away from his work, and to have a real, living person next to him. It had been such a long, long time. Through a gap in the trees he started counting stars- it was his favorite way to pass time. After he numbered each point of light, he was still too happy to sleep, so he watched the shadows made by moonlight move with the night as it progressed slowly toward morning.

…

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When Anna woke up, she found herself laid out on the forest floor. She realized as she sat up that her hand was still clutching a corner of that man's jacket- he must have draped it over her when he finally went to sleep. She looked around, but felt somewhat uneasy when she learned that he was gone. The campfire was just ashes now, and she placed her hand over it to see if it was still warm. It wasn't, so she assumed that it had died hours ago while she was asleep.

She wondered why he had left, after being so nurturing the night before. Had this been his plan all along? He never said anything about staying or leaving, that she could remember. He so rarely said anything at all. _What was his name again…?_

"…Kratos?" she called out to see if he was still nearby. Happily she noticed that her voice sounded much better already. It was slightly hoarse and deeper than usual, but she figured it would be back to normal soon. There was no response, so she tried to say his name a little louder.

"Kratos?" it hurt to yell that loud, but Anna still felt it was a worthy try all the same. There was no response, only the chirping of birds in the treetops.

_Where is he?_

She couldn't believe that he would just disappear like that. Would he really leave half of his costume behind just to get away from her? She turned it over in her hands, listening as the belt buckles clicked together. The clothing was surprisingly light- it never became any less fascinating. Yet again, the bright white fabric didn't have a speck on it. She was curious what kind of material would be resistant to blood, first of all, and now dirt too…

But the clicking belts reminded her of Kratos, and she was brought back to the dilemma. She tried to think of a reason for him to leave, and it struck her that perhaps it was because they were even now- she had saved his life and he had saved hers. It called to mind that time right before she had left her parents' house, and she had been angry with him for having no feelings… she realized now that she had been wrong. And he had tried to warn her… she felt slightly guilty for not listening. But he couldn't honestly expect her to listen either, being so demanding like that. She sighed heavily, and tried to forget about it.

"The most important question at the moment is- where am I?" it came out a whisper, a way to seek direction- but of course she knew that she was probably the only human for miles around. How did that guy expect her to find a way out of the forest? It made no sense. How could he be nice, and be this cold at the same time? She remembered the way he had held on to her, all night until she fell asleep. He had certainly been nice enough then, perhaps too nice… she wondered why he had gone to the trouble if he was just going to disappear by morning.

Then she remembered that he had wings. _That does change things…_

The night he had come through her window, she had seen the bluish glow- even though the memory was fuzzy, and she hadn't been able to control her body, somehow she could remember that specifically. Or when they had made the escape out the window, she definitely remembered flying… and they had landed so gracefully in the forest. Actually, it wasn't clear to Anna exactly when he had hurt himself so badly, because she had landed without a scratch… it was all sort of a jumble anyway.

She turned her head suddenly as she heard someone walking through brush, somewhere off to her left. She stood, still holding the jacket in her hands. She looked down at her arms, and noticed the whip marks were just shadows now, slightly darker than her skin… she wondered if they would actually disappear. It was unexplainable except by magic… that was what Kratos had said, wasn't it? That he had used magic? And when he had built the fire that quickly, it was because he used his sword to make fire… she shook her head, overwhelmed. She had been wrong from the very beginning, somehow… even if she had imagined the wings there was just no way that guy could be human.

She started walking towards the sound, suddenly extremely glad that she wasn't alone. She smiled, and held the jacket closer to her chest- the clothes she was wearing were ripped and torn in some… well, rather revealing places. Not that it could be helped, not that it even mattered, but she figured he had given her the jacket for a reason… she tried to pull it over her head, but one of the buckles which she had been ignoring got stuck in her tangled hair. She walked slower, trying to figure out how to disentangle it. As she put her arms over her head she felt her skin stretch, but it wasn't painful- whatever Kratos had done, she was extremely grateful. Even her swollen eye wasn't bothering her. She would have to thank him as soon as he helped her get un-stuck…

She heard him much closer now, the underbrush was crackling and she called out to him. She had almost freed herself from the belt buckle, when she heard the feet walk right up to her and stop. She heard him breathing, but he didn't say anything, which was mildly unusual. Usually people say hello when they-

She heard another pair of feet stop just behind her, and she froze. Why were there… two sets of feet now? Someone was laughing softly, but she heard it clear as day. It was unnerving. She lost patience and ripped her hair free, quickly tugging the jacket down to cover her chest… it wasn't Kratos, at all.

"Stay right where you are, or we'll kill you where you stand."

...

She didn't have any idea what to do... there wasn't really anything she _could _do. But she didn't want to die now, after all that...

"Not a chance." The voice didn't have a body, but Anna welcomed it if it was going to spare her life.

The Desians who had just threatened her suddenly looked around wildly, drawing swords and shouting for him to show himself. A man appeared so swiftly that she wondered where he had even come from. There was a whirl of blue, and suddenly the two soldiers were dead, bleeding into the ground. It was absolutely terrifying. Anna looked around, trying to figure out what had just happened…

"Allow me to introduce myself…" the man was now right in front of her, smiling faintly. The most noticeable thing about him was the luminous color of his long blue hair… other than that, she noticed that he was a half elf. _Is this another Desian? But why would he try to save me…?_

Suddenly she heard something crashing through the woods behind her, and she jumped when a moment later she felt herself being lifted off the ground. It was Kratos, apparently- she was now standing directly behind him, with absolutely no idea what was going on. There was no doubt about his identity, however, because his scent was familiar and his clothes were unmistakable. She wasn't sure why he had decided to come back, but she was extremely glad to see him. She was tempted to reach out and hug him, but decided against it. It made no sense to distract the hero at work. That's what he had really become, after all…

"Yuan. What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you, Aurion." He sounded rather peeved. "I wouldn't have harmed her, you know…"

"I wouldn't risk it."

"What's the big deal, anyway? Thinking nobody would notice if you took off for a few days?"

"…"

"Didn't I tell you that Mithos asked me to keep tabs on you? Naturally I went to check up on you… and once again, you weren't there."

"Did you tell him that I was gone? No, it doesn't matter… more important is, how did you find us here?"

"Us? So then, that settles it…" Yuan smiled, and Anna was taken aback by how easily he had changed moods. It was impossible to tell whether he was still angry or not.

"Answer the question." Kratos seemed to be getting more irritated, she noticed. It was definitely interesting… apparently these two people knew each other. She wondered _how_ they knew each other, though… she couldn't be sure about the blue-haired man, but why would Kratos have a position with the Desians if he was willing to kill them too… was he a spy? _Who is the blue haired one…and who is Kratos really? They both killed Desians, but are they enemies? But why the familiarity…?_

"What's her name? Where are you planning to take her?" Yuan was smiling knowingly, stepping closer and trying to look around behind Kratos to get another glimpse of the woman.

"It's none of your concern." His voice seemed to be getting angrier very quickly, and for a moment Anna wasn't sure which of these characters was the safer one to be standing next to.

"Of course it's my concern, Kratos. And no, I did not tell Mithos anything yet… I figured I would let you have your chance to tell him later. But look how well you've done!" he wheedled around Kratos' arm and extended his hand towards Anna. She flinched, before she realized he was just trying to engage her in a handshake. He drew back his hand quickly, trying to be cordial without frightening her further.

"I'm sorry if this is a bit unsettling to you- you see, Kratos and I have had our differences over the past… years." Yuan was still smiling, despite the things he was saying.

"I see…" she mumbled, still slightly hoarse. His smile was slightly infectious, somehow. Anna was half grinning, unable to decide what the mood here was supposed to be. But she did realize that there wouldn't be a fight, at least. These two people were arguing, but somehow they were acting almost like siblings. It reminded her of her own family, and she felt a wave of nostalgia coming on, which she tried to suppress for the moment. She had to try to follow the conversation... it could be important.

"You see, he's been a pretty stuffy fellow, up until a couple months ago. He forgot that he was alive, probably…" Yuan glanced over at Kratos before continuing, "but now he's got you. He's already so much more interesting…" She could see that he was trying to taunt Kratos again, but had no idea what he was talking about.

"Yuan. If you came looking for me, then talk to me. Leave her out of it. You still haven't answered me."

"Well, fine then." Yuan was grumpy again. "If you must know, it was rather easy to figure out you were in the Luin area…" he looked meaningfully at Anna this time before continuing… "and once I got to close to the town the only thing people were talking about was the wild man who kidnapped a girl that had just escaped from Kvar's ranch, and three mysteriously dead Desians." His tone was matter-of-fact, down to eath again, and Anna felt uncomfortable in that he was so unpredictable.

"Did you kill them yourself? I would have never thought you capable…" he seemed lost in thought, frowning slightly.

"I have my reasons."

"Of course you do. Anyone could see _that._" Yuan was exasperated, and probably losing patience as well. He paused for a moment, and then continued hesitantly.

"If you're going to travel around you should take better care of her next time, though. Don't leave her unguarded like that…" he looked down, and now he had became strangely somber. "You were lucky this time, but next time, there's just no guarantee…"

Anna wondered if he had been the one laughing in the trees before while she was apprehended by the Desians. So, Kratos really had left her to fend for herself, then… but why did he come back?

"I wouldn't have let them touch her." Kratos spoke very calmly, and was suddenly much softer toward the man called Yuan.

"I see. Well, I won't keep you. But since I've found you, I do want to remind you of something."

Kratos sighed heavily. "And that would be…?"

"Just remember that you can't run forever. You can protect her carefully from now on, which will buy you time, but Kvar is not going to stop chasing her. Although he alone is not really a threat, if Mithos discovers what you're doing…"

"I understand that much, at least."

"Do you really? Think about it, at least a little. I don't know what your plans are, or how long you plan to-"

"It's none of your concern. Besides, what could he possibly do to me? He needs me, and he needs you, so really no matter what either of us does we risk nothing."

"You think you've got it all worked out, but you're just scratching the surface. Whether you come back to Derris-Kharlan or not isn't my problem, but… I'm telling you that if you stay here you're endangering her life." He inclined his head toward Anna, and Kratos turned to look at her too. She seemed slightly fearful, but otherwise unharmed…

"Leaving her alone would be even more dangerous, don't you think? You pointed it out yourself. And why should you care what I do? It doesn't affect you in any way. Just go tell him you found me, if that's your job..."

"You know, that's your biggest problem Kratos. Following orders. Now you think you can handle anything, don't you? I had forgotten how alike all humans are… so irrational. I thought Mithos liked you because you were different, more sophisticated than the rest of them- but really, there are some things which just cannot change… but despite that he still trusts you more than anyone, you know." Yuan sighed before continuing, "I'm going to stall for you while I can, but don't expect me to do anything else. I've already given you more help than I probably should have."

"…I see. I can't agree with most of what you're saying, but... thanks I suppose."

"You probably won't be thanking me later, but I'll accept it where I can. I just want you to finally see the things you should have… already known." There was a sad aura about him as he turned around, blue ponytail swishing behind.

"Humph."

Pink wings unfurled behind him as he took off gracefully towards the afternoon sky. Kratos cringed, and looked over nervously at Anna. She noticed him watching her face, but she was too fascinated to look away. When Yuan had cleared the trees he spoke in a barely audible voice, probably thinking that nobody would hear-

"Do what you like, Kratos. It's your choice, just... don't waste your time anymore."

.

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**A/N:** Just so you know, Yuan still doesn't particularly like Kratos. It's more of a "been-around-you-for-thousands-of-years" kind of sentiment that drives him to be "nice"... more about that coming up later. Besides, if Yuan doesn't say things like this, who will? lol


	17. Chapter 17

/* Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia, of course.

Hi guys, sorry it took me so long to post this... my computer has been having some issues, and I've been really busy in school this quarter -__- sigh. Enjoy!

(It might be a while before I can post another chapter... at this rate it took me 2 weeks to find enough time to sit down and write.)

But I refuse to let it rest! I want to actually finish this story someday lol.

*/

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Chapter 17

"So, what just happened?" Anna was staring straight ahead in the direction of the man called Yuan, who had just flown off through the tops of the trees and out of sight.

"And who was that guy exactly? I think you have a _lot _of explaining to do…" Still in a daze, she turned toward the mysterious person next to her and raised one of her eyebrows playfully. She knew Kratos had been staring at her, but how could any normal human not be fascinated by people with wings?

He didn't look in the mood for jokes.

"Explaining… hmph. This isn't the time or place for it, so after we put some distance between us and these casualties, perhaps…" he looked at the ground near Anna's feet, where the body of one Desian was still sprawled out, and the other was similarly splayed nearby- "although on second thought, you're much better off not knowing."

"What? No, let's talk right now. There won't be more coming for a while, right?" Anna needed answers, and she wanted them right away. She had never been very good at waiting… waiting, waiting, that word triggered her memories of the human ranch, and she remembered too vividly all the people waiting for death, their only escape. The others might have accepted waiting for death, but not her. And then she remembered the first time she had met Kratos, by running straight into him- the day she had tried to run away. Waiting for death had never been an option to Anna, but at the same time, she knew that running hadn't gotten her anywhere- if anything, it had made life that much more miserable than before. _I'm always trying to fight it… but why? Why am I trying so hard?_ She remembered the Desian's punishment for trying to escape, and her inablility to move… she thought she had been paralyzed forever. But somehow here she was, able to walk again… here she was, surrounded by trees and standing on soil…

She realized that she had been staring off into space, but Kratos was turning to leave now. She realized that if she planned on surviving, keeping him around would be necessary- and somehow without even knowing the guy, after everything that had happened recently she knew she could trust him. Well, after all he had done for her, she almost had to. _How can I convince a winged man to give up his freedom, and stay here with me? What can I do to stop him from leaving?_ Anna felt her pace quicken as she tried to think quickly, before he was gone…

"Are you coming? Or would you rather stay here?" Kratos spoke roughly, as he gracefully parted the underbrush. Anna found it amazing that he could pull off both extremes at the same time.

"Oh no, I'm definitely coming." She didn't need to be told twice. He was silent as she followed behind him back towards their makeshift camp.

_If I'm going to get him to stay, I need to find out why he came back…_

"So, why did you come back?" It slipped out before she could help herself. She had never been any good at subtlety, she remembered. It wasn't a skill she had needed in a very, very long time.

"Come back?" He stopped now that they had reached the clearing from before, and turned around to look at her. She felt so small and weak just standing next to him… something about the intensity of his glare and his tall stance made her wish she had some sort of leverage over the guy.

"You were gone when I woke up. I thought…" she didn't feel like she needed to say the rest. It was somewhat sad to her to be losing her savior so soon. That's what he really was, when it came down to it. He was the reason she was out here, and not locked in that room…

"If you wish me to leave, I'm afraid it's not in your best interest right now."

"In my… what?" she needed a moment for what he said to sink in.

He continued without waiting for her answer- "Up to this point I have done what was necessary, so I am not going to let it be wasted now. You can understand that, can't you?"

"You… what? You're staying? Why?"

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Kratos was planning to stay? He sighed heavily, and turned toward a small bundle by the ashes of their old campfire, with his back to her now. He crouched down and started rummaging through it, gently and methodically. She tried to think of something more intelligent to say.

"Are you hungry, Anna?"

"Wait, what? Why are you trying to change the subject?"

"I don't want to argue with you right now. We need to get out of here."

"I wasn't trying to argue with you, I just want some general knowledge here. Don't you think I should know at least something about my circumstances? But you think that if you offer me food I'll just say okay and shut up? I don't think so!"

"It was worth a try, anyway." He paused for just a moment. "Although that's not really why I…" he stopped abruptly, and held his breath. Anna heard it, and became curious suddenly.

"Why do you have food anyway, I thought you only stole that one loaf of bread… if you took more from my parents, or if they go hungry for a week because of you, I swear I-"

"That's not the case. Don't jump to conclusions so often, it interferes with your judgment."

Anna didn't know what to say to that, but she couldn't let him be the one to stop the argument. Nobody was at fault here, so why did he have to make such a big deal out of her mistakes? He didn't have to talk like he knew so much better than she did. It was insulting.

"Don't patronize me!" She couldn't come up with anything better.

"Then don't make childish accusations without any basis. You're only asking for trouble."

Again, what was there to say to that? It was like he had all this planned out in his head. Although, until two days ago she hadn't really carried a full conversation with someone other than a Desian since before she had been captured. Nine years had passed while she was in that death camp, and it was starting to show. The only way she knew how to talk now was by arguing. Here was this kind man who had freed her from the ranch, who was quite possibly a guardian angel of sorts, and here she was yelling at him for offering her breakfast.

She felt ashamed of what she had become, and found that she couldn't say anything to him. She was afraid her voice would betray her regret.

"Is it hurting again?" he was standing in front of her now, she could hear him breathing, but her eyes were closed and she was trying to regain control over herself. She wanted to let him know that she was fine, that it wasn't her neck hurting at all… but she didn't want to start crying in front of him either. She didn't want to appear even weaker- she kept her mouth shut tightly to prevent it if she could. It only became harder to keep control when she thought for a moment that maybe it mattered to him, and then that she must be crazy to even consider it a possibility. He was in all likelihood an angel… this was in all likelihood his job. He spoke again, and she listened to his soothing voice.

"I've been straining you too much. I put too much faith in your recuperative powers… perhaps I don't understand how they work at the current time…" He paused, but it seemed as if he had more to say. Anna thought she felt a bit of concern in his voice… it made her feel even more like crying, because she knew she had to be imagining it.

She felt herself scooped up, and gasped quietly. Her eyes burned when they opened out of reflex, suddenly exposed to air, and she looked up at the man, surprised. _What's going on?_

"Don't say anything, alright? There is a river near here and I am going to take you there."

"Okay, but…"

"Don't talk right now."

"I can walk, alright?" she managed to keep her voice even as she spoke, but the spaces behind her eyes were burning now and she had to close them. She felt her throat starting to swell too. It was so hard to hold back tears- she hadn't needed to do that in nearly a decade either.

"… fine, if that's what you want. But only if you can keep up."

He set her down gently, and started walking off. She felt guilty for letting him believe her wounds were causing pain, but if it kept him nearby then she wasn't about to give him up just yet. Anna was just grateful that he was allowing her to follow behind- maybe he knew, and maybe he didn't. But at least he wouldn't see her face. She stopped for a moment and put her cool hands over her eyes, and wiped away the water collecting there before she jogged a little to catch up. The man didn't seem to waste much of his time. It took a couple minutes and some deep breaths, but once she was over the initial upset, she focused on moving through the forest and allowed her mind to wander.

Walking was a very effective way to help her calm down. As she looked around, the combination of trees and freedom… it was soothing in a way she had never truly appreciated before. They kept up the pace for several minutes in complete silence- as her feet crunched through the twigs and fallen leaves, her thoughts kept drifting until they settled back on the man in front of her.

_He's kind of rough, isn't he? But he's really protective… he means well. He doesn't seem to care about other people at all, though… I wonder if that's part of being a guardian angel… assuming he is one. There isn't really any other explanation…right?_

She wondered how long they had been walking, and she began to wish that she hadn't complained about breakfast… she was fairly hungry now. The only thing distracting her from eating a tree was the stream of questions going through her mind.

_This person knows an angel. That's what people with wings are, right? If he knows an angel, wouldn't that make sense if he is one too? How many humans are friends with an angel? Plus I'm pretty sure I didn't imagine him flying… and Yuan said something about him 'running off'…is he in some sort of trouble too? I wish he would just talk to me…_

"Um, Kratos…"

He continued forward, still parting the way as gracefully as ever- he didn't even look tired, though they had probably been walking for an hour now. She decided to try breaking the silence, but she felt slightly awkward using his name. _Kratos… such an interesting name…_

"That is your name, right?"

"Humph."

_Real talkative, this guy. Is he mad at me or something?_

"Are you mad at me or something?"

"No." He glanced down at the compass in his hand, which he had been checking every so often along the way.

"Are you sure?"

"Do you wish me to be angry with you?"

_What kind of guardian angel is this guy, anyway? I thought angels were supposed to be heavenly creatures, who were always happy and kind and granted wishes, or something like that. Why does this guy strike me as the complete opposite?_

She hesitated for a moment before responding to him, wondering if he was joking or not. She decided not to risk it this time.

"No, I don't want you mad at me."

"Good."

_If I take a guess that he's not a normal guardian angel… what is he then? And now that I think about it, Yuan was saying that he's in trouble with his boss… Mithos, did he say? But wouldn't angels be working for Martel? _

"Um, Kratos…"

Again, he chose not to answer.

"Kratos, I was wondering… why did you save me from the human ranch?"

He stopped abruptly, and Anna ran right into his back.

"Why do you ask?"

"Why wouldn't I ask? It's important."

"Important, hmm."

He started walking again, even faster this time.

Several minutes passed in silence, and Anna realized that clearly it was a question which he didn't want to answer. Now that she thought about it, Kratos didn't seem like the type to be keen on answering personal questions at all. She could tell that much, if nothing else.

_For an angel, he sure does have some issues. But…if he's not a normal guardian angel, and if he is in trouble for doing something wrong, then was he…does this have to do with me, somehow? _

Anna felt her heart pounding suddenly, and her head was reeling. She hadn't thought of that before… Yuan had seemed interested in her, too. _But why? Aren't guardian angels __**supposed**__ to save people? _She shivered, even though it was sunny outside. The forest became uncomfortable- too much shade. There was nowhere she could look up and see the clouds, they were walking too fast for her to be enjoying it anymore. And why was Kratos so bent on getting further away? Yuan had killed those Desians…

…_if Kratos is going to be punished by his boss…that means he did something against the rules. If his boss was Mithos, and not Martel, what was his reasoning for breaking rules? What rule did he break? Was it because he was snooping in the ranch? Are angels supposed to save people in secret? _

Anna tried to wrap her hands around the outside of Kratos' jacket, which she was still wearing. Even though it was August, the air had a hint of Fall. She couldn't say why, but it became more windy as she thought about it. Her legs were cold too- the pants she had were still cut up from her encounter only one day ago. Kratos was still parting the way, not showing any signs of stopping.

_Why is he trying so hard to cover ground? What is he afraid of? Desians were no match for his friend, so what's the big deal? _

"If you won't answer those questions right now, then just tell me… well, nevermind." She had had enough of trying to make conversation. He seemed to be in a bad mood, so she didn't want to provoke it further. There was no way to know when her good luck would finally run out. A few more minutes passed in silence, and then to her surprise Kratos spoke.

"Are you tired yet?"

"Tired?" She really was surprised he actually strung together enough words to ask a question.

"Of walking. It's been two miles, roughly." He stopped and turned around to look at her properly.

"Oh… really? I'm not…"

"We're almost there, anyway. But you seem to be in good shape, considering you've been confined for several years."

"How… what are you trying to get at?" There had been something in his tone of voice that made her uncomfortable. He sounded curious, and she couldn't think of any reason why he should be… an awkward silence seemed to make her word echo.

"…Nothing, just forget I said it."

"Okay…" she hadn't expected him to drop the subject so quickly, since he was the one that started it anyway.

_Well this is fun. I don't know where I am, I don't know who this guy is, and I don't even know __**what**__ this guy is- and now he's refusing to talk to me. Are we just going to wander around this forest until one of us dies of boredom?_

* * *

_I can't tell if she's just incredibly trusting, incredibly stupid, or… maybe that dwarf was right? Does she have brain damage from the way she was treated at the ranch? Oh wait, that was just his thought when I told him her symptoms… she's certainly just fine now that she has a key crest…_ Kratos sighed.

"We're here."

"Uh… where is 'here' exactly? Didn't you say something about…" he pointed through a pair of trees, and noticed she seemed surprised. She should have heard the river before she saw it- how could she have not heard it? He couldn't be certain, but on the night he had taken her out through the window, he remembered her wings. And the fact that she was not hurt by the fall supported that. The river was fairly loud, actually. She must not have been paying any attention at all. A bird started making noise in the tree above her as she darted off toward the water.

_She's so…_Kratos had to stop himself right there before he thought anything further. As much as he was determined to protect this girl's life, he knew that the role could only be temporary. He would have to find someplace safe for her, and quickly- he didn't want to keep Mithos waiting for too long. It was good that she would not die from the exphere or her abuse, but it was also far less convenient. He thought about Yuan's advice, to enjoy himself and stay with her, but dismissed it quickly. _Since when have I ever listened to that guy? He's never right…_he stopped for a moment, and dropped his head slightly, putting the palm of one hand on his face. _I guess he did predict that I liked the girl… but of course it was obvious. I can't give him credit for that…_

Kratos walked leisurely toward the river, and saw Anna was already there. He saw as she lifted her hands above her head, and then she fell backward, completely limp- he panicked.

* * *

**A/N: **this is where I have to cut it off! Sorry! This was a really long chapter, so I had to break it up somewhere... -__-

Everything that happened will be explained next chapter, most likely. But if you have questions, as always feel free to ask, and I'll try to answer them for you in the next chapter. =)


	18. Chapter 18

/*

Hi! Sorry it's been so terribly long... I've been working on this chapter for ages but I never posted it... I was having computer trouble and then school and everything else got in the way... but I hope to continue writing all this summer!

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia characters in any way, shape, or form and I tend to get carried away when I write about them. But it's all for you, so please enjoy!

*/

Chapter 18

Kratos took off running and the brown sack slipped from his hand, landing with a soft thud at the edge of the trees. The soles of his feet kept pounding against the uneven grass, and with every step he couldn't help thinking he would be glad to find himself alone again, to return to the isolation of his room and sit in the comforting silence, to be free from these crazy… emotions… with that last word echoing in his head he started jogging instead, suddenly aware of his overreaction to all of this. He found it to be almost shameful, how little thought he had been putting into his actions lately.

But something kept nagging at the back of his mind, pressing him to keep moving closer- _what if she didn't 'just faint'… _it was unsettling, because rationally he knew that there was no reason to feel such things. There was no reason for any of the things he had been feeling… he thought he had accepted it already, but the sensations were just too strange.

He was walking slowly now, and stopped as his feet came next to her head. He looked down at her peaceful face, and bent into a crouch. It was pleasant to watch her sleeping, somehow- probably because she was much quieter that way. He listened to the sound of her breathing, and his gaze shifted to follow the rising and falling of her chest. All of this walking and idle chat with Anna was starting to bring fuzzy images to mind, from the distant past. He knew it would not be long before they resurfaced again, and he couldn't help but believe that he wasn't meant to have lived this long… but of course he also knew that had a duty to perform. He would see it though to the end, no matter how long it took- he had been part of that group which broke one world into two, and he would not rest until he was sure the people would be able to maintain their own peace. It was just that, in the time between then and now, he had forgotten far too many things. It was strange for Kratos to think he used to belong to the soil and trees and to the human race as a whole, because for so long he had led such a simple existence- he couldn't remember the last time he had spent time among humans. He had forgotten what an enigma emotions could be, to the point at which the sensations seemed nearly unbelievable, but he knew that everything he had been through lately was too elaborate to be a dream. He would never have been able to imagine this, or imagine her, not in a million years. He shivered at the thought of a million years, and wondered for a brief second if he would still be alive another thousand years, another five thousand…

He closed his eyes, and pushed the thoughts away. He was tired of being so loose with his emotions and wearing them on his sleeve. Strange and new as this was to him, he knew it was no time to be wrapped up in such things… so, he stood and turned to retrieve the sack he had dropped so carelessly behind him.

…

"Wait, don't go."

He was mildly startled when she spoke, but the words were soft and gentle- he didn't know how to answer her. What she was asking for? What did she mean by saying that? But the silence stretched longer and he gave up on trying to figure her out- he continued to walk towards the trees.

"No! Listen to me! Please, don't leave… I don't think I can make it on my own."

It was truly puzzling how she could find ways to startle him, because after four thousand years Kratos had been pretty sure he had seen everything there was to see; heard everything there was to be heard. Anna never ceased to surprise him; the silence which followed was awkward even to Kratos, and neither knew how to proceed.

"Can you last until I pick up the bag over there?" He put one hand on his hip, pushing back his hair with the other.

"What?"

"I dropped it."

"Oh…" he imagined her face turning pink, and tried to think of what that was called. He was tempted to look, but decided to spare her the embarrassment. _How do I not remember this? Blood rushing to the head, embarrassment,… that pink color. What is that called?_

He continued to ponder as he went to retrieve the small brown sack. He hoped that it would still be there, and that none of the monsters had made off with the things he had spent so much time looking for that morning… the distance seemed three times longer now that he was walking instead of running. He had forgotten how much faster it was to run places, and perhaps it was because he knew she was watching him that it seemed more drawn out than necessary.

Luckily, the brown cloth bag was exactly where he had left it. He grabbed it and checked inside- the kirima were mostly gone, and he sighed. Some animal had probably made off with all of them. He imagined the breakfast he would have prepared for her, if Yuan hadn't interfered… he sighed again, darkly, at the thought of the man's face. How long had it been since she would have had a decent meal? He had gotten used to the food in Welgaia over the years, but certainly the Desians wouldn't be so accommodating to their prisoners. He cringed when he tried to imagine living on a human ranch, and realized he had never thought about it before. Mithos would have to know about this, the next time he went back to Derris-Kharlan. A small oversight like this could be easily repaired… he looked up and saw Anna running towards him.

"I didn't mean what I said before, just so you know! I was-"

She didn't finish her sentence, but he continued walking until they met somewhere in between the river and the trees.

"Why are you thinking I would leave? I've told you once already, but considering what happened this morning I'm not going to let you out of my sight."

She looked stunned, and her face was definitely pink; it suddenly came back to him that the word was 'blush'. _Aha! She's 'blushing,' now. Have I embarrassed her?_ It was amusing. He wondered if he had been a little too forceful, but no matter what she said he was not going to bring her back to Luin, even to her parents, before he was sure that she would be safe there. She could yell, scream, fight, whatever, but he swore to himself that he would not give in to her foolishness again. He hadn't freed her from the ranch for her to simply run back to it; he thought she would recognize that. He hadn't spent all night healing her and holding her just so she would be comfortable- he was simply repairing the damages she had acquired while under his protection. But he knew he should have been able to prevent them, and he was irritated at his own carelessness. And, it wasn't without slight unease that he remembered that while he had been freeing her from the ranch, and healing her, and holding her he hadn't even thought about reasons. Though he realized them now, it didn't change the fact that he had acted initially without them.


	19. Chapter 19

/*

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia or its characters, I just like to play with possibilities.

Well, here is the rest of Chapter 18! I missed writing about Kratos more than I realized =)

And, this one is much longer than the previous chapter ;D

(I should study for my finals but I really don't feel like it haha.)

*/

* * *

Chapter 19

There was a breeze moving around his shoulders, and Kratos realized that Anna was still wearing his jacket. His undershirt did not have sleeves, but he was not uncomfortable- he was rarely ever so. He looked over and saw that with all its belts and buckles it was still a little big for her, especially since she had left them mostly undone, but he couldn't help thinking that the colors looked pleasing on her. Anna's long hair was tangled again after camping in the forest all night, and he wondered if it would have been better to take her to a normal human town for treatment… would that have been a more proper thing to do? He had run off with her without thinking twice, but now that she was conscious he was going to have a much slower time of hiking.

There was so much to consider, now. Yuan had shown interest in her, and it gave him cause to worry. He wondered vaguely if he had actually put her in more danger by saving her life? In the facility she would have lived out her life in the capacity of becoming an exphere, perhaps one of the greatest ever made. She could have been the finest jewel ever produced. _That would be honorable, would it not?_ But Kratos also saw things in another light, which had caused him to act- it was hard to ignore that in the ranch she had been mostly dead, anyway. She had been wasting away in a private room, a prisoner of her own mind. She was just a human, and he was well aware of it, but at that time he had felt it necessary to free her. He wondered what was wrong with him- now he had to take on the responsibility of looking out for someone who sought trouble. It was like setting a killer loose from prison, or freeing a rabid dog from a pound… except that Kratos knew this woman was not a killer, and she didn't have rabies. There wasn't anything keeping her in that place, except her humanity. At the time, he hadn't seen anything wrong with letting this one human go.

Now he was not only setting her wild, he had helped her fly, and in doing so robbed his own cause of its finest treasure… though he knew they would be able to use someone else. There were plenty of other humans they would be able to use, and he had to explain it to himself this way. He had stolen a fish from the market, but there would be other fish. This woman was different, somehow so much stronger than all the others. He admired that, and had decided to give her a better life. Was that so strange, after all? Before he had only planned on setting her free, and watching from afar how long she could go uncaptured; however now, he had found she was hopeless, and he didn't want her to be taken back again. He had overestimated her ability to survive, given her a chance she was incapable of using on her own. If he had gone to the trouble of setting her free, it seemed such a waste for her to end up in the same pond she had been liberated from. He had to find a better place to keep her, before she got herself killed or captured again.

Was he crazy? Perhaps. But she was interesting, a real credit to humans everywhere, and he didn't want to see her in that blank state again. It disturbed him somehow, even though he had grown so used to it. Overseeing human ranches was a large part of his work, after all. But seeing her on the night she had tried to escape, with those wild eyes- and then again, in such a short time subdued and consumed by the exphere… it had caused him to act in ways that were completely out of line. Finally he was aware enough to see that, and to see why Yuan had been mocking him- still, he had to take this woman somewhere that she would be safe. Only then would he be able to forget about the feelings she evoked, and move on like he always had before. She brought out weakness in him, and he had to get away as quickly as possible, but she was a rare curiosity and deserved better than a slow and menial death. Before Yuan or anyone else could find them again, he would put her safely in a place out of their reach… anything she did after that would be on her own head. He had grown so soft, and yet… he found that inside of his embarrassment, there was another type of feeling which had started to grow- there was no reason to it, no measure of it, but Kratos could not shake the feeling that it was a seedling of something strong.

…

It took a moment for Kratos to come back from his thinking, and he turned from the sky to look at the woman standing in front of him. The moments of clarity were now gone, as he looked at her soft figure and her deep brown eyes it seemed difficult to think about anything more.

"S-so, you're really going to stay with me then?" Anna was still in shock from the statement he had made, but he couldn't fathom why. _What has she been thinking all this time, anyway? _

"I believe I said that."

"How long?"

"How long?" he echoed softly to himself, "I will escort you however long is necessary, I suppose."

Kratos had to wonder if she even remembered all the effort he went through to get her out of that window the night before last. Considering that she had been wearing a Cruxis crystal without a key crest, though, the probability of that was almost none. And considering everything else, he had to wonder why that even mattered to him.

Anna was frowning, and he wondered if she was thinking about something, or just unaware of her own facial expression. He realized that over time, he had learned to control his own- _well, more or less_. Lately there had been times when it was hard to restrain a smile, but he knew it would not take long to adjust and figure out the solution. He had always been in control of the things around him, and had found the most efficient ways to accomplish his tasks- for most of his life, there had been peace, not chaos. What more was needed, once that could be achieved in a life? Chaos was always something to be avoided, prevented… but somehow, this woman…

"And when you're done with your job you're going to leave, just like that?" She seemed apprehensive, and Kratos wondered what response she was expecting. He was doing her a favor, so why did he feel like this was some sort of interrogation?

"Job? I suppose you could call it a job, with the way you actively seek out danger. But yes, after I've found a safe place for you I will be on my way."

She turned around and lifted her hands to her face. He heard her sigh and decided that perhaps her exhaustion was catching up with her- it felt strange having to guess. Usually she just shouted whatever she was thinking, but this side of her was becoming extremely… tiresome.

"What exactly is your job, anyway?" she muttered with her back to him.

Kratos rolled his eyes, frustrated with her questions. She was inadvertently trying to concern herself with things far above her comprehension. Even if he told her the truth about his work, he knew that it would not be possible for this woman to believe him. She had just met him, what reason would she have to trust him? _To her I am a stranger passing through, nothing more..._

"You're some sort of guardian angel, aren't you, Kratos?"

She turned to look at him, and he was surprised to see that her eyes were red. She hadn't been crying, he would have heard that, but was she upset? What cause had he given her to be upset? He didn't remember Martel ever being this unreasonable, but perhaps it was because she had been a half-elf, and not human… _wait, a guardian angel? Where did she get that idea from?_

"Would you at least answer me? Yes or no would do…"

"I don't have to answer your questions."

"Why else would you know an angel, if you weren't one too though?" she paused, and Kratos wondered where she had gotten so perceptive all of a sudden. _Although, I haven't known her for more than a brief second, if I think about it..._

"I remember…" she began, "very vaguely I remember the night you flew into my room. And I hit you, without meaning to. I wasn't really in control of my body back then, but how else would you have known where I was, if you weren't trying to save me?"

"…" Kratos stiffened. He hadn't been expecting this, but he wasn't going to make it this easy for her. _At least her logic has flaws- her accusations are empty. I can still salvage this._

"You obviously don't really work for the Desians either, since you're helping me escape from them."

She was starting to get rather worked up about all this, and she was excitedly telling him everything she knew. He continued to listen, and assess the damages. How much had she figured out already?

"…and that guy from earlier, I think you called him Yuan, he was saying something about you taking orders from some guy named Mithos. What's that all about? I thought angels would work for Martel, or something like that. Who is Mithos?"

Kratos decided her trivial accusations were taking a serious turn, and she had finally gone too far.

"That's enough. I will tell you anything I think you need to know, but for now just forget what you heard." He tried to sound as intimidating as he could- it always worked on the inquisitive humans he had encountered before. It had never failed to stop them cold.

"Like I could really do that! Why can't you just tell me? It's obvious I'm on to something." Her face was red with indignation, her eyebrows arched and her fists curled.

"You don't know what you're dealing with, and you are better off not knowing." He retorted quickly, before she could say more. He had to look away, because the furious expression on her face made him feel a curious emotion, once again… though she was furious he wanted to smile and laugh at her, he wanted to know how that mind of hers worked. For a brief moment, the heart inside his chest- he felt it moving in there, like it was turning over in its sleep…

_I should have known. What works on other humans just doesn't work with her… it does the opposite. It's been a long time since I've argued like this... it's exhausting. I'm losing to her, and I'm running out of things to say, but somehow for a moment there I found enjoyment?_

"Why are you deciding what's good for me, huh? 'You're better off not knowing'"- she imitated his voice, trying to mock him- "Well you know what, I think that being informed would make me a lot more useful than keeping me in the dark, where I have to feel everything out for myself. I'm not some sort of sheep you can lead blindly through a meadow. Just because we're different doesn't make you in charge…!"

"I see."

Kratos couldn't help but wonder at how naive she was. How she could say something like that with such conviction? Of course he was in charge, he was taking care of her and protecting her, how could she deny that? She kept running towards trouble, with her arms wide open! How many times had he saved her life so far? Didn't that give her reason to accord him some respect? But her words 'because we're different' kept ringing in his head…

"Don't do that! Don't just brush me aside like you think you know everything! Stop messing with me, and just tell me- are you an angel or aren't you?"

"If there is doubt in your mind then I will not persuade you one way or the other." He paused, and before he could stop himself, he turned to look directly into her eyes… "But if you think back, who was it that landed without a scratch after jumping from your window? You should really think a little more before you start jumping to conclusions…"

His face felt hot, thinking back to his clumsy mistake. That had been so reckless, saving her. And when his wings had gone out, it was a miracle he hadn't been injured far worse. He could have killed her with that drop too, if she hadn't happened to have wings already… he thought to the wound on his leg and how he had woken up that morning… such a curious feeling.

"What are you talking about?" He cringed mentally as Anna's harsh tone brought him out of his reverie- he was shocked, once again. She was looking at him expectantly, and Kratos realized he finally had the upper hand. He didn't want it. The memory of that night- he hadn't realized hers was incomplete. He didn't want to lead the conversation, this time. It had been a gamble to say such things, and now he regretted saying anything, if she honestly hadn't remembered. _But if she recalled hitting me, how could she not remember landing? Or the fact that she brought me to her house…_

"Really though, what do you mean? Landing without a scratch… that's because you were holding me, right? And what about your magic, how can you deny that? You don't look like any half-elf I've ever seen."

"I never claimed to be one."

"Then are you human? Or are you an angel?"

"I am human. That is all you need to know." Kratos sighed heavily.

"But-!"

"Does it really matter that much?"

Anna's eyes widened and he realized he must have finally reached her on some level. He did not pursue it any further- he hoped it would be enough to silence her.

"Sorry…."

She averted her gaze, and heat from the argument began to evaporate. It was as if it had all been emanating from the intensity in her eyes, and when she looked away the cause for the fight was gone. Kratos was glad- he hated answering questions. Now that the air was clear again he looked up at the sky. They had wasted a long time arguing; the sun was already on its way down, it was late afternoon. He tried to plan the rest of the evening, and decided they would probably be better off walking along the river until nightfall, to be sure that there would be water. He didn't have any supplies with him, and after having this conversation with her it wasn't likely he would have the chance to fly around scouting for things…

Silence weighed heavily over them as they stood together halfway between the river and the forest. Kratos sincerely hoped she had had enough arguing for one day, and wondered how to proceed without touching a nerve. But he noticed Anna seemed to be lost in thought, which was a first in the short time he had known her. He let her be, and allowed himself to pursue thoughts of his own.


End file.
